I’m a newlywed and I feel depressed now . . . . . .
Posted by Deanna M. on Jul 15, 2007 - 2:02:00 AM

Dear Deanna!

   I was at the movies and saw my friend’s fiancée with another man. I understand that people have trust and free reign in their relationships but this wasn’t normal. She was holding his hand and acting as if they were in love. I’ve been asked to be the best man in their wedding and now I’m stuck in this situation. I don’t know if I should tell him she may be cheating or should I mind my business and bow out of the wedding. What should I do?
   Ex-Best Man (Paoli, PA)

Dear Best Man:
   You should go ahead and spill the beans so that you and others can possibly save some money. If you spend money on attire for the wedding and the bride is already cheating, they’ll be headed for divorce soon. With true friendship comes loyalty and you should do what a woman would do. Call your friend or take him to lunch and tell him what you saw. Your conscience will be clear and he has the opportunity to make a decision and keep it moving.

Dear Deanna!
   My friends are out of control. I’m afraid to be with them because they are getting bad reputations. We were at a house party and they had sex with a group of guys. The next day gossip was so bad in our town that our families we’re fighting because of rumors. I didn’t do anything at the party but now that my name is out there, I cut the friends loose. They’re mad at me and call me a traitor. How do I handle this because they’re my friends and I miss them?

Anonymous (Tampa, FL)
Dear Anonymous:
   The decision you make depends on what you want in life. If you want to be viewed as having loose morals, no class and a bad reputation, your current friends can make that happen. Your friends and lifestyle are a direct reflection of your character which will affect your employment and all of your relationships. If you want a good life with decency and respect keep the current friends at arms length, find some new ones and call it a day.

Dear Deanna!
   I’m a newlywed and I feel depressed now that I’m finally married. It seems as if the excitement is gone and my husband is different than when he was a boyfriend. He always tells me that he gave me what I wanted and to move on to something else. The dates, gifts and spontaneous things have disappeared and it feels like I got a lot of work in return. Is this normal for a new bride or am I setting my expectations too high?

Sad New Bride (Oklahoma City, OK)

Dear Sad Bride:
   You wanted to be married when you wanted to be married and your boyfriend went along with your demands to make you happy. Instead of pressuring him, you should’ve let things flow and allowed him to get comfortable with the idea before taking the leap. You can renew the spark in your relationship by taking the lead with creativity, a lot of love and focus on goals and the future. Keep your husband involved and you’ll see him coming around slowly but surely.

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