Ask Deanna
My Brother Is A Money Lover
By Deanna M.
Oct 25, 2009 - 12:46:44 PM

Ask Deanna!

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Dear Deanna!

My brother thinks the world revolves around money, how much things cost and having the top-of-the-line cars.  He flaunts his wealth and when we tell him we’re not interested, he accuses us of being jealous.  It has gotten to the point we don’t invite him anywhere, we send him cards for all holidays and we can’t get through to him.  He always ruins everything with his attitude and we’re tired of it.  We would love him the same if he was broke but he doesn’t see this.

Trudy                  Online Reader


Dear Trudy:

Your brother has some personal issues that may stem from childhood.  He over compensates himself with material things because he’s insecure and unsure of himself.  If he was successful and confident, he wouldn’t make himself look big at the expense of others nor would he disrespect people that have less.  If the family is on the same page, have a discussion with him and if doesn’t work give him the hand and let him stay at home with all of his stuff.


Dear Deanna!

I loaned money to my girlfriend’s husband and now he won’t pay the money back.  I did this personal favor without talking to my friend first.  He is now telling me to stop harassing him or he’s going to accuse me of trying to sleep with him.  I’ve been sending him e-mails to call along with text messages and I’ve called his cell phone.  I thought I was doing the right thing by not mentioning the loan.  How do I get my money without jeopardizing my friendship?


Miss CeeCee   Atlanta, Ga.


Dear CeeCee:

It’s to your advantage to go ahead and write the money off unless you’re willing to bring drama in your life.  If there’s no promissory note or paper trail indicating you loaned the money and it would be paid back, you’re stuck.  You’re being blackmailed and it’s going to get worse.  Tell your friend about the loan, stop looking for payment and whatever happens in their relationship is not your fault because you chose to be honest and have integrity.


Dear Deanna!

My boyfriend has been promoted to a great management position on his job.  However, with his promotion he is becoming arrogant and rude.  I never thought of calling him a snob but that is the direction my thoughts are heading.  He has become rude, condescending and looks down on people.  He hasn’t changed towards me but I don’t like this new side of him.  As he acquires more money, a new car and possessions he gets worse. How do I address this issue?

Tina                 Chicago, Ill.


Dear Tina:

Your boyfriend has never had anything of great value and now that he’s getting a few things he’s losing his mind.  This man has always been this way but you never noticed because you’re intimate with him.  Money is giving him a false sense of security, and he feels he can do anything.  You need to bring his actions to his attention and how he is making people feel.  You need to do this soon, because you’ll be his next target and like his car, you will be traded.

Deanna M.

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