Ask Deanna
My Teen Daughter Gets Physical With Me
By Deanna M.
Nov 8, 2009 - 6:25:08 AM

Ask Deanna!

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Dear Deanna!


What do you do when your husband gets fat and out of shape?  When we were married, he was in shape; he would go to the gym and kept things together.  Now he’s comfortable and has gained a lot of weight.  It turns me off so bad that I can’t be intimate.  This is causing us to argue a lot and he tells me that I have to take him as he is because he’s not changing.  What can I do about this?


Lorraine                     Jacksonville, Fla.


Dear Lorraine:


If you’re responsible for the cooking, then perhaps you can transition to a healthier lifestyle.  The key to supporting your husband's weight loss is encouragement instead of criticism.  Highlight the health benefits and let him know that you’re with him every step of the way.  If not, I suggest you eat some snacks, put some junk in your trunk and be fat and happy together.


Dear Deanna!


I made myself get out of an abusive relationship.  I was beaten, verbally abused, raped and tormented on a daily basis for almost three years.  I had convinced myself that I loved this man and his abuse was his way of showing affection.  I’m at a point now where I feel as if I’ve moved on.  However, my ex-boyfriend is now trying to come back and he’s convinced me that he’s changed.  Should I give him another chance?


Rebecca                      Buffalo, N.Y.


Dear Rebecca:


If you go back, be sure you have your funeral arrangements in order or get ready for a life of misery.  This man treats you worse than a dog and has no respect, care or love for you.  If you made it out of the situation, then you need to use your brains and stay out.  No, you shouldn’t give him another chance to assault you, insult your womanhood or risk killing you.  The writings on the wall just make sure you read it and get counseling along the way.


Dear Deanna!


  Recently, she put her finger in my face and she’s started shoving me.  I’ve never hit my daughter but feel that now I need to.  Is there a way to talk to her and bring her back down to earth without getting physical?


DeLeisa                       Indianapolis, Ind.


Dear DeLeisa:


When a child gets physical with a parent, you have the option to choose a body slam, or a drop kick to neutralize the situation.  Regardless of your daughter’s age, you need to make it clear that you’re the parent and she will not be placing her hands on you.  Child abuse and violence isn’t being advocated but you can talk all you want and you’ll find your child ruling you and the household.  You need to send the message with some strict discipline, get the child’s father involved or seek a professional to help find out why she wants to bully you.  If you don’t do something fast, you’ll find your face cracked and on the ground.

Deanna M.



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