Ask Deanna
My 15-year-old Daughter Is Gay
By Deanna M.
Dec 6, 2009 - 5:08:07 AM

Ask Deanna!

Real People, Real Advice


Ask Deanna! Is an advice column known for its fearless approach to reality-based subjects!


Ask Deanna! is based in Beverly Hills and can be heard every Sunday on KTYM AM 1460 at 3 p.m. in Los Angeles, Calif.


Dear Deanna!


I need help approaching my 15-year-old daughter who may be in a lesbian relationship with a 16-year-old girl.  At one time, my daughter expressed curiosity and desire towards boys.  I found letters talking about kissing and the older girl willing to teach her things that were so graphic it blew my mind.  I’ve talked with the other parents who are also surprised.  We agreed to speak with our daughters openly and seek counseling. 


Concerned Parent                  Dallas, Texas


Dear Parent:


Approach your daughter with love and your honest feelings.  Don’t pass judgment as you seek her opinion and understanding of why she wants to be with girls.  Once she’s shared her feelings, you can tell if it’s a fad, peer pressure or confusion. Your daughter is young and with faith, God’s word and counseling you can teach her the right way to go concerning sex.  However as an adult, she’ll choose her own path and you need to be there regardless of which way she swings.


Dear Deanna!


My brother turns into a fool during Christmas.  He lets his wife pressure him to spend excess money, buy her a lot of clothes for parties and a lot of toys for the children.  I have problems with this because he gets into financial trouble and borrows money from the rest of the family.  His wife sits on her bank account, doesn’t commit any money to the holidays and lets him be burned out and broke.  Is it wrong for me to address his wife because I’m tired of this game?


Upset Sister-In-Law   Inglewood, Calif.


Dear Upset Sister:


Your sister-in-law is selfish but that’s not your problem. Talk with your brother first because you’re sure to start a family war if you use any other approach. You have the right to share your opinions because you became involved when he begs you for money.  It’s best to be direct and let him know you will not give him a dime if he decides to max out for Christmas and you’re spreading the same message to the rest of the family. 


Dear Deanna!


I lost my job three months ago and I feel really bad because I can’t participate in the Christmas holiday.  I never thought I would be in this position and it’s becoming stressful.  I’m embarrassed, I feel like less of a man and a failure.  What do you suggest I do to take my mind off my misery as the holidays come around?


Byron              Jacksonville, Florida


Dear Byron:


You need to pick up your face and be glad that you have health, strength and breath in your body.  There’s no excuse for your pity party when people are homeless, hungry and living on the streets.  Forget about not having money for the holidays and go look for a job to get back on track next year. You should focus on Jesus instead of shopping and you’ll do yourself a great service to pray, reflect and celebrate instead of being miserable.


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