Ask Deanna
My Best Friends Talk About Each Other
Feb 28, 2010 - 6:22:28 AM

Ask Deanna!

Real People, Real Advice


Ask Deanna! Is an advice column known for its fearless approach to reality-based subjects!


Ask Deanna! can be heard every Sunday on KTYM AM 1460 at 3 p.m. in Los Angeles, Calif.


Dear Deanna!


My daughter ended a relationship that was abusive, degrading and disrespectful.  We went through the hassle of moving her to another location, helping get her a new job and a new school for the children.  As soon as she gets some money saved, a few new friends and things look promising, she lets her boyfriend come back.  We’re losing our minds because he’s put her in the hospital, took her money and everything else.  What can I say to get through to her.


Mad Mother                           Online Reader


Dear Mad Mother:


Have a talk with your daughter and let her know that she can’t smell the roses if she’s dead.  Relationships can make people do crazy things including hurting the ones they love.  Your daughter has low self-esteem and only counseling and strong family intervention can help.  As a mother you need to stand by your daughter, love her and try not to be judgmental as she gets it together and hopefully she’ll see the reality of the monster she’s with before it’s too late.



Dear Deanna!


I’m a senior citizen female and I’m very active in all areas of my life with no plans to slow down.  I’ve worked hard enough in my lifetime and now I want to enjoy myself and do as I please.  My adult children have an issue with my lifestyle and feel I should be at home watching television, knitting or being a grandmother.  I refuse to be something I’m not, and if I want to be intimate, socialize or spend my money it’s my business. 


Geraldine Thomas                  Ft. Worth, Texas


Dear Geraldine:


If you have pep in your step and can get moving then your children can eat your dust and let you continue living your life.  You’ve paid your dues and you’re entitled to more than babysitting and planting flowers if your foot isn’t on a banana peel.  However, you still need to practice caution and good judgment in all areas.  You may be mature and wise and financially stable, but sexual diseases and HIV doesn’t discriminate. 



Dear Deanna!


I have two best friends that are always talking about each other.  I listen to what they say but I never repeat anything that I hear.  They’re going back and forth right now harder than ever and I’m being forced to choose sides.  I don’t have an issue with either one of them, and I think they’re being unfair.  How do I choose who I want to be friends with because I can’t be friends with both of them?


Nicki                                       Buffalo, N.Y.


Dear Nicki:


Do yourself a favor and lose some weight by dropping both of them.  If they don’t value your friendship enough to shield you from their drama and games, then they don’t deserve your friendship.  You’re not part of the problem now, but if you choose one over the other, you become a target from the other one.  Before you make a decision, see if you can help your friends resolve their issues and if not, call it a three-way split and keep it moving.

Deanna M.

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