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Ask Deanna

My Husband Is Selfish And Inconsiderate
Posted by Deanna M. on Mar 4, 2010 - 8:31:11 AM

Ask Deanna!

Real People, Real Advice


Ask Deanna! Is an advice column known for its fearless approach to reality-based subjects!


Ask Deanna! can be heard every Sunday on KTYM AM 1460 at 3 p.m. in Los Angeles, Calif.


Dear Deanna!


My husband is very selfish and inconsiderate.  We have a healthy relationship, our finances are good and we are good parents to our children, but the biggest issue in the relationship is the fact that he won’t help with anything.  I have to do all the shopping, cleaning, planning for activities and everything to run the household and our lives.  If I don’t do things he’ll sit like a lump on a log.  If things don’t get done, we argue.  How can I get him to meet me in the middle?


Happy But Tired                                Toledo, Ohio


Dear Tired:


Your husband is a lost cause if you don’t have him trained or house broken by now.  You should look on the bright side and be glad he has a job, he’s not abusive and he’s involved with the children instead of being on a milk carton like a dead beat dad.  Take an analysis of the pros and cons in your marriage and if the negatives are more than the positives seek counseling, hang in there and do the best you can to motivate your husband and get him moving.



Dear Deanna!


I bought a car from a friend and it was a huge mistake.  After I got the car it broke down, started leaking oil and the transmission went bad.  Because we’re friends, I thought we could work it out and I would get some of my money back.  I approached him about these issues and he told me it wasn’t his problem.  I don’t know what to do because a mechanic told me he had the car fixed just enough to sell it.  I feel betrayed and want to know if I can sue him?


Melinda                                               Boston, Mass.


Dear Melinda:


Your friend ripped you off by selling you a lemon and left you with a silly look on your face.  There’s not much you can do unless you have documents, the terms of the sale and similar paperwork you would normally receive from a dealership.  Your car is on the road dead, your friendship is ruined and your money is gone.  Its worth going to small claims court because he didn’t think about you so you should handle your business and get ready to see the judge.


Dear Deanna!


I’m dating a woman who has children by another man.  I knew this going into the relationship and I know the problems that would eventually come.  However, I didn’t expect to spend money on these kids and have them curse me out and disrespect me nor did I expect my girlfriend to sleep with their father behind my back.  The situation is worse now because she’s pregnant with my baby and I know I should leave this mess but I feel guilty.  What do I do?


Brian                                                   Los Angeles, Calif.


Dear Brian:


It would be a good idea if you decide not to be stuck on stupid.  You need to get out of this relationship because you’re being used and disrespected.  As for the pregnancy, you can ride the wave until the baby gets here because you don’t know if the baby is yours until you’ve had a blood test.  This clown show will only get worse as time goes on and you need to hold onto your money and your mind; give them your rear end to kiss and keep it moving.

Deanna M.



Cliffside Malibu




Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.