Ask Deanna
Me, Friends And Their Kids Don't Mix
By Deanna M.
Mar 28, 2010 - 7:11:56 AM

Ask Deanna!

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Dear Deanna!


My boyfriend is very overbearing and condescending.  He always has something to say about everything and seems as if he waits to pounce on me when I make a mistake.  I am becoming stressed because I have to concentrate on everything that I do and everything that I say.  The only time things are good is when he’s not around or watching television.  I want to talk to him about this problem, but I feel it will cause problems.  Is it me or is he just rude?


Anonymous                             Dallas, Texas


Dear Anonymous:


Your boyfriend is a rude, insecure bully.  If he has your best interests at heart, he wouldn’t talk to you like a dog.  The next time he tries to call you out, you need to stand up for yourself and let him know where you’re coming from.  If you haven’t slipped, made a mistake or done anything to deserve his lip service, let him have it full force.  You then need to let him know that you will not tolerate anymore disrespect and if he continues, then walk and keep it moving.


Dear Deanna!


I have a few girlfriends and they all have small kids.  I don’t mind their kids and I love them.  However, I have a problem when it comes to our car arrangements.  I just purchased a new car and it isn’t child-friendly.  I cringe when I hear them pull the seat belts out for the car seat.  Each time I go with one of my friends, I have to go to the car wash because of fingerprints, trash and garbage from the kids.  How do I tell my friends I don’t want their kids in my car?


Joyce                                                   Tampa, Fla


Dear Joyce:


Your situation is sensitive but not as uncommon as you think.  You have to decide if you’re going to choose friends without kids or be mature and handle this like an adult.  All you have to do is tell your friends that you prefer they drive because you’re uncomfortable with the situation.  It’s going to be almost offensive but you have the right to care for your vehicle however you choose.  On another note, it’s not that serious and you can clean your car and get over it.


Dear Deanna!


I am fresh out of a long-term relationship and I really enjoy my single life and freedom.  My girlfriends all envy me and now their boyfriends are accusing them of cheating and looking for men when they hang out with me.  I am not going to water down my lifestyle right now and my friends are having a hard time with this.  They say that I am acting loose and as if I don’t have any morals.  I think they’re tied down to balls and chains and are jealous.  Am I wrong?


Happy and Free  Online Reader


Dear Happy:


The men of your friends are insecure and obviously don’t know their women as well as they think.  If your behavior is affecting them, you need to cool off and slow it down a bit when you’re around them.  These are your friends and you need to still show some respect and regard for the differences in your relationships, or lack thereof.  At the end of the day, enjoy your life and realize that everyone is responsible for their choices.  Yours just appears more fun right now.


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