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Ask Deanna

My Friend's Ex-Husband Likes Me
Posted by Deanna M. on Apr 4, 2010 - 6:46:39 AM

Ask Deanna!

Real People, Real Advice


Ask Deanna! Is an advice column known for its fearless approach to reality-based subjects!


Ask Deanna! can be heard every Sunday on KTYM AM 1460 at 3 p.m. in Los Angeles, Calif.


Dear Deanna!


I know of a young man who, to me, seems to be stuck in a situation.  He has a child with his off and on girlfriend of three years and she constantly tricks him into believing the only way he can see his child is if he is with her.  He doesn't believe anything anyone tells him about his rights as a father and continues to fall freely into her web of lies. How can I reach him?


Friend Wanting to Help   Online Reader


Dear Friend:


Sometimes men become stuck on stupid with women that have their children.  If he’s being tricked, it’s because he allows it.  If he falls into her lies, then he allows it.  He knew enough to make a baby and he knows his rights as long as the Internet, television and newspapers keep running.  You won’t be able to reach him because he’s comfortable, enjoying himself and gladly taking everything he’s being served.


Dear Deanna!


I’m in the process of divorcing my husband after eight years of marriage.  He’s the only man I’ve ever been intimate with.  Now I have a little freedom and I feel as if I’m losing my mind.  On one hand, I have a new friend that I haven’t gone all the way with.  On the other hand the ex-husband of one of my friends has revealed that he wants to be with me and has always liked me.  I’m attracted to him but know this would cause problems.  I’ve been celibate for seven months and need to know if I should be with him and keep it a secret or take a cold shower?


Hot and Bothered   Online Reader


Dear Hot and Bothered:


You need to take a cold shower and put your eyes on someone that you can get jiggy with that won’t cause problems.  If you do anything in the darkness, it will come to light and rip you apart like a train wreck.  You’re entitled to have fun, enjoy yourself and have a healthy sex life but make sure you protect yourself and keep your thinking cap on during the heat of the moment.


Dear Deanna!


I’m at a point where I must decide on going back to a popular college or staying at home and going to a local school. I’m in this dilemma because I went away to school to play basketball, but then I got injured. Now I’m a junior and my parents feel I should return and get my degree.  I feel that will take longer and there is no point to be so far from home.  I want to go back, but am afraid that I will be miserable since I am not playing.


Confused Young Female   Online Reader


Dear Confused:


The decision in this case rests upon the shoulders of the one who is paying for the college tuition.  If your parents are paying the note then you don’t have a choice but to go with the flow.  However, if this is a joint financial decision, then you can take the lead and go where you want to go.  You’re correct in wanting to go to a local school because it would be easier and you won’t get depressed watching your friends play basketball while you sit on the sidelines. 

Deanna M.


Cliffside Malibu




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