Real People, Real Advice
Ask Deanna! Is an advice column known for its fearless approach to reality-based subjects!
Ask Deanna! is based in Beverly Hills can be heard every Sunday on KTYM AM 1460 at 3 p.m. in Los Angeles, Calif.
I’m in a relationship and I think my jealously is going to ruin things. My girlfriend is attractive, friendly and outgoing. It drives me crazy when I see men misinterpret this as flirting and start trying to get with her. I have to control myself because I’ve made myself look like a fool several times by jumping on guys when there was no need. How do I deal with this?
Rob Detroit , Mich.
You have a serious issue that needs to be addressed. This woman is not your wife and you're taking things in the wrong direction. You can begin to get a handle on this by sharing your feelings and working together to pinpoint her behavior that bothers you. If this doesn't help, you personally need to seek therapy to identify the root cause of your insecurities.
I wanted to drop you a few lines about my ex-girlfriend. We broke up because I didn’t want her anymore and just told her the relationship was over. I replaced the locks and changed all my phone numbers. She can’t accept the fact it’s over and took things to another level when she keyed my car. She keeps harassing me so bad that I get so angry that I feel like hitting her. What do I do?
Sean Astoria , N.Y.
The car repair should be easy unless you don’t have car insurance. As for your stalker, most of the blame is on you. She is reacting this way because apparently you caught her off guard with the break-up. You didn’t “man-up” with respect and concern nor did you behave in a Godly fashion. It was your responsibility to end the relationship with an explanation and closure instead of dumping her cold turkey. Unless you want to go to jail, do what a woman would do. Take out a restraining order, keep your mouth shut and keep it moving.
I learned that my husband has been cheating on me. I am currently trying to decide if I can forgive him and if we can salvage our 10-year marriage. He told me that he was very sorry for what he has done, but I could have reduced the pain if I hadn’t followed him to the hotel and caught him. He says all men cheat at some time and it’s a man's DNA. He then pointed out our male friends that cheat and named a few celebrities. If things don’t work out is this what I have to look forward to in a marriage?
Terribly Disappointed Online Reader
Your husband is sorry indeed because he got busted with another woman and tried to flip the script and put the blame on you. All men don’t cheat and infidelity has to do with lust, immaturity and being selfish. If he and his friends all have cheating in common, they’re birds of a feather that shouldn’t be married. Your husband has confirmed he’s a cheater and he’ll cheat again if you stay and accept it. Life is too short, and if you find yourself in another relationship with a good man, give him a fair chance with a clean slate and you won’t be disappointed.
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