Ask Deanna
Bad Relationships Have Cost Me Money
By Deanna M.
Jan 24, 2010 - 7:48:22 AM

Ask Deanna!

Real People, Real Advice

 

Ask Deanna! Is an advice column known for its fearless approach to reality-based subjects!

 

Ask Deanna! is headquartered in Beverly Hills and can be heard every Sunday on KTYM AM 1460 at 3 p.m. in Los Angeles .

 

Dear Deanna!

 

I had several bad relationships this year that caused me financial stress.  I feel as if I have a sticker on my head that attracts broke men.  Initially, things are fine and then I end up paying for all the dinners and dates.  I enjoy these men, but since I always ask them to go out, I end up paying.  How can I avoid this bad habit because I can’t afford it?

 

Tired of Paying           Buffalo, N.Y.

 

Dear Tired:

 

You need to select men that are qualified to date.  In other words when it comes to dating, both parties must be able to afford to date.  A relationship requires money on both ends because financial spending isn’t one-sided.  You should have a discussion before your dates to determine who’s paying or if you’re going dutch.  If you can’t afford to contribute the bare minimums, then you need to eliminate yourself from dating until you get your finances together.

 

Dear Deanna!

 

My niece is involved with a man old enough to be her father and I feel he’s taking advantage of her.  My sister, who is her mother, is willing to go along with this if it makes her daughter happy.  I think it’s statutory rape and is sickening because my niece is young and inexperienced.  I’m at the point where I may call and report this to the authorities because it’s not right.  Is it worth the risk of losing my sister and my niece or should I leave it alone?

 

Worried Aunt                         Long Island City, N.Y.

 

Dear Aunt:

 

It takes a village to raise a child and if your niece is underage then you should report it to the authorities.  However, you should respect your sister and talk with her before making your move.  Also, many people are going to be hurt by your decision and you must also ensure you have all the facts about the interaction between your niece and this man.  If your research indicates you niece is truly being taken advantage of, then authorities need to put him in jail.

 

Dear Deanna!

 

I had a divorce party celebrating the end of my marriage.  My ex-husband came to the party with a girlfriend half his age, his family started a fight and the party was a disaster.  Things were great until someone got drunk and started talking about the bad things in our marriage that caused our divorce.  Initially my husband agreed to help pay for the party but now that we have damages, I’m stuck with the bills.  Is it wrong to take him to court to get my money?

 

Happily Divorced                   Washington, D.C.

 

Dear Divorced:

 

Your husband obviously didn’t give you much when you were married so you should expect even less now that you’re divorced.  You were foolish to make a mockery of marriage and divorce with this party and in essence, you got what you deserved.  You’re going to face further embarrassment, airing of dirty laundry and humiliation if you take this clown show to court.  Suck it up, count your loss and keep it moving.

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Deanna M.

 



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