LOS ANGELES—Break-ups are among the most painful experiences a human being can endure in life. It is not a secret that a break-up can easily “break you up” and leave you feeling like nothing has any meaning in life anymore. Believe me, I know what I am talking about because I have been there before, and the experience I had almost destroyed not only my career but also my life.
Being in love is an amazing feeling but the more in love you are, the harder it is when it is time to say goodbye, especially, if you are the one left behind. As adolescents, we are taught by our parents that love is the cure for everything and that with love, we can get whatever we want in life. As adults, even when we know that there are other important things in life that require our attention, we still believe that love is the answer for all our problems, and we go through life looking for that perfect love; the one that brings joy, happiness, and a sense of protection into our lives.
It is not a secret that once that special person in our lives decides that he/she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with us anymore, a great deal of pain will arise making our hearts hurt like it just broke into tiny little pieces and at the same time, making us feel like our lives will never be the same.
If you are going through a break-up at this time, and you are hurting a lot and feeling like your life has zero meaning, let me tell you something my dear friend, yes, I know it hurts and probably it will hurt for many days (not to say weeks) to come. The important part here is to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that one day, you will feel in control of your life again.
Below are six (6) tips to help you navigate through the break-up experience without putting your life and your career in jeopardy.
1) Cry your heart out, but after you finish crying, make a point not to cry again: This will help you to release all that pain that you are carrying around. But like I said, put a deadline to the crying and after you reach that deadline, stop crying and move on.
2) Find a hobby or a new challenge in your life/career: Take this experience as a great opportunity to re-intent yourself. Start practicing a sport or volunteer to complete a task at work that nobody else wants to do. You will be surprised how much you can accomplish, and this will help you get your mind off of the break-up.
3) Stay away from your ex: Yes, that includes calling, texting, facebooking, or stalking him/her at work. Unless you have children in common, there is no reason for you to stay in touch with your ex. At least, not until you can look at him without crying or feeling like begging him/her to take you back.
4) Get a makeover or do something nice for yourself: Another excellent opportunity to get yourself re-invented. Get a new haircut, try that new hair color you always wanted to try, or treat yourself to a trip to the Bahamas. Bottom-line; give yourself the queen/king treatment. Believe me, this will make you feel better.
5) Say “no” to post-break-up sex: Let’s face it guys, having sex with your ex will not make him/her want to come back to you. After sex, if the ex doesn’t want to have a relationship with you anymore, he/she will get dressed and will keep on walking leaving you feeling used and betrayed once again.
6) Get rid of the excess baggage (aka: break-up feelings) and move on, it’s as simple as that. Time cures everything, but a little help from you won’t hurt. Stop tormenting yourself over what happened and look at the future. You are the only one who can get yourself out of that dark hole you are in, so stop crying and move on. Your future boyfriend/girlfriend will thank you for that.
Bottom-line; experiencing a break-up may feel like the worst nightmare you have ever experienced in your lives. As a matter of fact, it is. But, if instead of throwing yourself on the couch for days feeling sorry for yourself, you take it as a learning experience and try to actually learn from it, the recovery process will be a less painful one.
Remember, the pain you feel after a break up is inevitable; letting it control your life and destroy it is optional.