Career and Life Coaching
Should I move or should I stay?
By Marielys Camacho-Reyes
Sep 4, 2011 - 9:18:32 PM

LOS ANGELES—LOS ANGELES—Here’s an opportunity to speak with a life coach and career specialist, and to get the knowledge you need to reinvent yourself, to tackle a new job or even if you are unemployed and looking for the best way to find your dream career.

Dear Coach,

This is Alice from Virginia Beach. I would like to start this post by thanking you for your time and for always being there when I needed guidance and advice. Your unconditional support throughout these past months has helped me reinvent myself and at the same time to understand that no problem is big enough if we seek help or guidance from an expert to be able to find a way to “attack” that problem and move on with our lives. For that, I thank you from the deepest of my heart. This time I am contacting you because my husband and I just received military orders to move to a foreign country for three years.

Marielys Camacho-Reyes: Career and life coach

As you may know, I am very concerned with this move because I have never lived outside of the United States. I don’t know what to expect or if I will be able to function in this new country. I will have to leave my current job and my friends behind, and my children will have to leave their school and their friends behind as well. I am a nervous wreck and can’t seem to find a way to digest all this. What do you think I should do? Should I go with him, or should I stay back home? I want to support my husband but I want to make sure I am making the right decision.

Dear Alice,

Moving to a foreign country can be one of the most intimidating experiences a person could face. The fact that you have never lived outside the United States makes things a little bit more difficult for you. I do want to add that even when you may not see it now, you are facing one of the most amazing opportunities a person could have in life. By reading your post, I noticed that your main concerns are leaving your job and friends behind, and starting a new life in a different place. This is not as bad as it sounds Alice.

Moving to a new place can bring you many new experiences that in one way or another will help you to grow not only in your personal life but also in your career life. The same thing applies to your children. It is commonly known that children adapt to new experiences faster than adults and even when at first they will miss their school and friends, when they start making friends in the new country and new school, they will become happy again. At the same time, the opportunity of learning a new culture and socializing with children from a different country will bring them a new perspective of life. I can assure you of this, because I have experienced this with my own children.

Since your main concern is making sure you are making the right decision, I would suggest that you sit down with your husband and together, write down the pros and cons of moving to this new country. Try to find for yourself the reasons you are afraid of moving. Once you have a better picture of what your concerns are, then you can “attack” them one by one. For example, if you are afraid of not finding the right school for your children, I will suggest you talk to your sponsor about this; he/she can help you finding the best school that fits your children’s need before you even get there.

Another example is if you want to find a job in the new country. I will suggest to try contacting the human resources office at the nearest military post where you will be living and ask them about a list of vacant positions. This will help you to know which positions are open and start the application process way before you get there. But the most important advice I can give you is to relax. The opportunity you have in front of you doesn’t happen too often, so again, sit down and identify what your real concerns are and deal with them one by one. Once you see the big picture, you will be more than prepared to make the right decision. Good Luck Alice and for me, it has been a pleasure to be able to “coach” you for the past couple of months.


“Ask the Coach” is a free service brought to you by MCR Success Coaching. To receive  free advice in a particular issue, contact Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes at


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