Dancing with Earthquakes
The Ultimate "Pranksta"
By Rosana Clarkson
Aug 23, 2009 - 11:17:39 PM

A group of boys decided that it would be fun to dare each other to do things that they otherwise would not be caught dead doing.  They decided first and foremost to pick on Dingleberry, considered the sissy in the group. 

"Yes, I do agree that I am a coward. That's why I believe this would be good for me," he told them, causing them to lose their thunder.

So for Dingleberry's first dare, he went into a public library, did a handstand, and shouted "WOOOOOO!" before running back out, chased by the security guard as he and the others raced across the street and jumped over a high brick wall at the end of an alley, making a narrow escape.

"All right," the other boys said when they were in a safe area, "Now we dare you to wear this peacock costume and go around town asking people if it makes you look fat."

"I can't do that," he said.  "It will make me look foolish."

"Dingleberry is a scary chicken butt," they sang.

"Okay, okay, okay," he said, obeying them, and approaching people for the next couple of hours or so, tied-on beak and all, and even making the peacock sounds occasionally.  When someone in a big truck from a local mental institution approached Dingleberry, he and the others made a break for it.

In the safety of a nearby sandlot, the others told him, "Okay.  Now you have to wear a ballet leotard and tutu and do pirouettes across the street."

"I can't do that," he said.  "Somebody will tape it and post it on YouTube!"

"Dingleberry is a scary chicken butt," they sang.

"Okay, okay, okay," he said, putting on the ballet outfit and following their orders. 

Immediately motorists came into a traffic jam in the middle of the street as they stopped to pull out their camcorders.  When news reporters began to traverse the area and approach Dingleberry for questioning, he and the others hurried away from the scene and into safety.

Over time, the boys continued the pastime in an effort to continue to prove and reprove their own courageousness in contrast to Dingleberry's cowardliness, yet, Dingleberry was appearing to like the game now, becoming even too bold.  Once, on a dare to hurl water balloons at police cars, Dingleberry accidentally hit a sergeant in the face, causing an arrested suspect to escape.

"That was really cool, I'm gonna send people pizza at 3 in the morning, prank call people saying they won a million dollars, and," he told his friends, who were by then quite bored by the game and felt were beginning to get ready to bash Dingleberry for it, "I'm gonna pull an insurance scam by jumping in front of an 18-wheeler and become a millionaire!"  

The others rolled their eyes; however, Dingleberry had become addicted to his newfound boldness and wanted the excitement to continue.  "You're the ones who are chicken butts.  I'm the real Mack Daddy," he said, donning Loc's and a bandanna.  "I'll knock you down, like Keri Hilson.  I'm the Ultimate Pranksta!"  he said.

"Yeah, right, whatever," they said, shaking their heads at each other as they walked away.

One day, Dingleberry ditched school and decided to steal a police car and take it for a joy ride.  The ticked off police officers chased him for miles, before they finally caught him and had him detained in juvenile hall. 

When they brought Dingleberry home the next morning, his parents took away all of his video games and grounded him for the next six months.  So he decided to visit the officers whose cars he had assaulted at the police station.

When he arrived at the station, he said, "I am sincerely sorry for everything I have done.  It was very crude and immature, and I will never do it again."

"I am glad to hear that," the sergeant said.  "It is good to know that you have finally learned your lesson."  Then he and the other officers went inside their vehicles.  When they sat in the drivers' seats, whoopee cushions went off; setting off several car alarms in the neighborhood, and Dingleberry turned and ran for his life. 

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