Dancing with Earthquakes
LOS ANGELES—Bored? So am I. If you have nothing better to do than to slap mosquitoes off your arms this season or make prank calls to your boss, try recording a list of sarcastic phone messages, and then decide on your own if you actually want to use them. At your own risk, of course.
1) Why, hello! I find it a very painful inconvenience to be bothered at this time. So leave a message with your name, number and the time you called, and I will be mildly happy, to return your call, whenever I wake up, and, whenever I feel like it.
2) Hello, there. I really appreciate your call. I am not available at the moment, so leave a message with your name, number and the time you called, at your earliest convenience, have a nice day, and...all of that polite stuff I don't really mean, leave a message.
3) If you are (friend's name), leave a message. If you're a telemarketer please hang up. If you're a debt collector, uh. (Uncomfortable, nervous coughing). Everybody else leave a message.
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