Dear Lily
Dear Lily: January 2003
By Lily O'Hara
Jan 1, 2003 - 12:26:00 PM

Dear Lily,

I am afraid of my sister. She has always bossed me and I have always let her, but it has gotten out of hand.

I looked after my father for over twenty years, without any compensation,  except for my food and clothing, while my sister was  married. My father chased any chance I had of getting married. He died last year and left both my sister and me each a house and money from all his real estate.

My sister wants me to give up my house to her son, who is getting married this year. When I asked her where would I live, she said, with  me, you can rent a room in my house. Does that seem fair to you, Lily?
She has always been selfish, but not as selfish as wanting me to give up my home to her son as a wedding gift.

She is putting pressure on me, as she controls the funds from the estate. I need to put a lock on my door, because she comes over with her key and takes things that belong to me.

What can I do to safeguard my home from her?

Please advise

Lonely in Hollywood
Mary

Dear Mary,

You need to get some legal advice to keep her out of your home. A good deadbolt should keep her out of your house while you are absent. If you lack money, take out a loan and do the things you were never able to do when you were younger. GET A LIFE! Once your sister finds you are not easily frightened, she will begin to respect you.

GOOD LUCK
Lily

Dear Lily,

I am about to be homeless. When my husband died, I gave our house to my son. He has always been a good son, but last year he got married. His wife doesn't like living with her mother-in-law, and told him to sell the house I had put in his name after my husband had died. She wants to live in Las Vegas. When asked if I was to go with them, she told my son, No, put her in a home for the elderly, her Social Security will pay for it.
Lily, I  am not that old, but this house is all I have ever known. My son said "She will divorce me and take half the house if I dont sell it, and if I do, she will get half anyway. I love her mom."

What can I do?

Without a prayer
Millie

Dear  Millie,

Tell your son that you don't want to be homeless, to give you  back the house. Maybe his wife will not stay around if he doesn't have the house to bargain with. I'm sure your son will not put up a struggle when you explain that eventually the house will be his when you die.
If he will not cooperate, see an attorney. You have rights.

Truly Yours
Lily

Dear Lily,

Christmas this year was almost spent without the Christmas spirit. I felt that the real feeling of Christmas Cheer was understated. It  seems that the more you buy the more is expected. It has become so commercialized.
I bought a coat for my friend, he bought a box of candy for me, then when he saw my gift, he told me that his real gift was under his tree waiting for Christmas eve.
Now I know he must have broken his back rushing back and forth looking through all the left over gifts  in stores, so as to show me that he cares, so I felt foolish.

Why has Christmas become so expensive? Do you know that many children think it is Santa's day? No one teaches them that it is someone's birthday.

Well anyway,
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Bernadette

Dear Bernadette,

Christmas is a Holy Day to most people, but to  some it is a day to make money or get gifts.
Remember the reason for the season and the  rest of the holiday will be a great event. Bake cookies and decorate your house in handmade crafts and decorations. Start giving out handmade gifts to everyone. This way the person you give that gift to, will appreciate that you have thought of them while you made it.
The changes can start with you and your perception of the holidays. Whether it is Hanukah or Christmas, it is all about the spirit that makes it worth while.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Lily