Dear Lily
Dear Lily
By Lily O'Hara
Oct 15, 2004 - 7:42:00 AM

Dear Lily:

I was thinking of going to a law school that is out of the state I live in, but with costs of living on campus, tuition and of course books, I don't want to put my parents in the poor house if they have to pay for it. Some of my friends say I can get a grant and loans to cover my expenses, but since they themselves haven't gotten any, I am not sure what to do. I think maybe I can go to school near home and live there rent-free. I am so confused.

Ready to learn

Dear Maureen:
You have a great idea about staying home. It will save you a fortune. As for going out of your state for schooling, many a young person is thinking of leaving their state to go to yours. I find that most students go out of state to experience living on their own, and end up paying more for their education than it is worth. If you are serious about staying home, look up the best colleges in your hometown, check out the financial dept. and ask them for advice. They are there to help you. Also there are many grants you can get, depending on your financial situation. Also it is easier to study at home and if it isn't, they have libraries at the university that you can spend time in for studying.


Dear Lily:

My mother wants to run my life and up until now, I have let her. Now I am going with a wonderful man and she does not like him and to be truthful with you, he does not like her one bit. I have known Paul for over six months, and he has asked me to elope with him, but something keeps bothering me about why my mother is so set against him, that it is going to ruin my relationship with him. He is very persuasive and keeps telling me not to be a mama's baby. Please advise me.

Lost in two different worlds

Dear Wendy:

The reason you are worried may lie in the fact that you know your mother and you really don't know your boyfriend. What are his parents like? Why is he in a hurry to get married without your family around? Do you know any of his friends or relatives? A gentleman would never speak negatively of your mother's relationship with you. Is he the kind of man you can trust to take the place of your family or to love you after you no longer have a family? Do yourself a favor and wait. Tell him it is too soon for you to marry. Also tell him you love your mother and for him to make himself agreeable to your parents. If he loves you, he will respect the people who loved and brought you up. Don't run away to get married, it is best to make sure you are doing the right thing. Marriage should be forever.

Good Luck

Dear Lily:

I am thinking of having my tubes tied. I am not married and don't plan to be, but my parents think that I will someday want children and a husband, not necessarily in that order. I am twenty-five years old, and am finishing my education. I plan to be a lawyer in a few years. Do you think I am being premature in deciding not to have children?


Dear Martha:

You are too young to give up on marriage and a family. You also don't need to tie your tubes. Since you are not married, you can avoid getting pregnant by not participating in the behavior that will give you any babies.  Try finishing school and then after you have a career, look around you for a good mate. Right now school is all you want out of life, but desires change.  Be happy and don't solve a problem that is not a problem.


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