Dear Lily
Dear Lily
By Lily O'Hara
Dec 19, 2004 - 2:08:00 PM

Dear Lily:

I have done a lot of foolish things in my life and now I am reaping the spoils of my actions. Fifteen years ago, I left my wife for a younger woman, which caused my wife to reject any overtures I tried to make so she would not feel any animosity towards me for leaving her with a two year old daughter. She told me she didn't want any money to tide her over until she could go back to work. She had asked me to sign over my father's rights to my daughter, which I did willingly at the time, but am living to regret it. Last month, my little girl was killed in a car accident. My ex-wife called me to let me know to come to the funeral home and the funeral. I brought my girlfriend with me and my ex-wife was so angry, I was embarrassed.
I feel that no matter what I do, my wife will be angry, so I just gave up. Last night I asked for my daughter's pictures and a keepsake, but my wife refused me.
What can I do to make her change her mind?

Forgotten father

Dear Mike:

If you examine your conscience, you will not need me to tell you where you went wrong, but since you are bent on playing the wronged parent and husband, let us examine what your wife owes you for the part you played in her life and her child's life.
You left her for a younger woman, not even caring to share your child's life. She was hurt. You signed over your rights to your little girl's life, for the reason you didn't want to be responsible for her welfare. You didn't seem to care much for either your wife's happiness or your daughter's. Then the only love your wife has dies, and you haven't got the courtesy to come to her funeral without your playmate.
You need help young man, lots of it. I think your wife deserves better than you ever gave her. Cry on your girlfriend's shoulder, she has received more from you than any of your family ever had. If I were you, I would go to my wife and apologize for all you put her through, and tell her how much you did love your little girl and maybe, just maybe, she will let you have a picture to remember your daughter by.

Good Luck

Dear Lily:

I would like to know how to get my boyfriend to take me to nice places or to his friend's houses or maybe, just once, to meet his parents and siblings. The only thing he likes to do is come to my apartment, eat or send out for something, and have sex. I feel like he has no respect for me. What can I do to improve my situation?

Unlovable Meg

Dear Meg:
You should examine your actions. Why do some men get all they want from a woman, but give so little back into the relationship? They are naturally selfish. You know the old saying, "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk free?" This man is taking, taking and taking, and as long as you don't demand anything in return, he will continue to take and not pay the piper. Tell him you are not his private source of sex, that you want more from the relationship than what he takes. If he doesn't change, lose him, because you can't do worse than him, just better. Keep the milk in the refrigerator, and someone will get thirsty enough to buy the cow for future thirsts.

Pay him back, with my best wishes

Dear Lily:

I just turned eighteen last week, and I am going away to school this January, but I don't think I am ready to live away from home. My parents want to pay for my apartment and schooling, but I could save a lot by going to a good college near my home. How do I tell my parents that although I appreciate their thoughtful gesture, I would rather stay home?

Homesick already

Dear Helen:

You're the kind of daughter most parents love to have. Tell your parents that you would feel a lot better coming home to do your homework. If they want to spend extra on you let them buy you a good car to drive back and forth in.

Good luck with your studies,


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