Dear Lily
Dear Lily: Dec 2003
By Lily O'Hara
Dec 1, 2003 - 12:55:00 PM

Dear Lily:
 
I am in a fix and I don't know how to end it. I am going with four men
at once. Sex is a long process, but I love all four men. It was okay
until one of them decided we should get married. How do I tell the
others that I can't see them anymore? None of them know about the
others. Why did he have to spoil it for me?
 
 
Bewildered in Santa Monica
Millie
 
 
Dear Millie:
 
It is really strange that you don't seem to feel the least guilty in
your relationships. If I were you, I would tell that nice man who 
asked you to marry him the truth and then you wouldn't be plagued with
having to decide how to get rid of the others. Those you date have
feelings, just because they are men does not make the pain of
rejection any the less hurtful.
 
I think you are mistaking sex for love. I think you are about to grow
up and I hope whomever taught you the value of life reads this too.
If a man or woman wants to fool around, she must not lie about it to 
her partners or to herself. One of these men told you he wanted to 
marry you but you never actually heard him say "I love you", but the 
love is there nevertheless. Start your married life off with the truth, 
or, better yet, break up with the others before you say "yes.” Then 
remember to be honest with your spouse after marriage. Marriage is a 
blessed rite and a beginning of a promising future.
 
 
I wish you happiness and love
 
Lily
 
 
Dear Lily:
 
I went away to school two years ago. It was the first time I ever left 
home for longer than a weekend trip. When does the loneliness of 
homesickness go away? I have made a lot of friends, but my heart is 
still with my family in Beverly Hills, and I know I am only eight 
hundred miles from them and can easily take a train home, but that 
would be admitting that my growth rate is slow. Will I ever stop being 
homesick? Or will I always want to go back home?
 
Dying to go home
Dorothy
 
My Dearest Dorothy;
 
You are not any different from millions of others like you. Do you 
think that because they have left home and are living it up, that they 
don't miss mommy and daddy? When they were home they had two parents 
who told them when to get home and when to leave home, to clean their 
room and not be lazy, but once they leave home there are no rules 
because no one cares if they mess up, and that means no one cares if 
they get hurt. When we leave home to get married, we still have mom and 
dad to ask their advice, but we have someone with us who cares and who 
will keep us in line. If you ever feel lonely for your home and your 
parents, call them up and tell them, take breaks from school to go home 
and eat good cooking and be loved in person. But if you are asking if 
anyone ever gets over being homesick for their childhood home, then I 
will tell you "No, I have never heard of anyone getting over homesick 
feelings for a beloved home and family". Do the best you can, graduate 
and then go home for the holidays, because love awaits you even when 
you are too old to find anyone there.
 
Love, 
Lily
 
 
Dear Lily:
 
I have always told my mom everything that I do or asked her for 
anything I need to know. But suddenly I find all my friends think I am 
just a mommy's girl. They never tell their parents anything, in fear 
they would not be able to continue doing what they are doing. My 
parents would never tell me to do anything that is not right. I don't 
take drugs but my friends say, don't believe all that propaganda that 
the media and TV spread, drugs are just too much fun to let kids do it.
I get confused, I see them take drugs and they just seem to have fun 
taking them. I don't know who to believe anymore. Give me an honest 
answer, you have nothing to lose.
Gratefully Yours
Lisa 
 
Dear Lisa:
 
These children who are telling you that parents and the newscasters 
don't know the bad about drugs, then listen to all the stories of dead 
people who took drugs until their bodies rebelled.  I felt the same way 
as you do now when I was young, but I was unfortunate enough to
witness my best friend go into convulsions and shock. We took her to
the hospital and she died five hours later of an overdose of the stuff 
they call "Happy Powder". I never tried drugs, but no matter how much I 
warned my friends, they thought I was just chicken. If your friends 
take drugs, tell them to stop and if they don't, tell them you would 
rather not be around to see them die or get brain dead. If you call the 
doctor or pharmacy they will tell you what effect drugs have on the
body. SAY NO TO DRUGS! That's the only way to go.
 
Stay High on Life, don't tempt death.
 
Lily
 
 
Dear Lily;
 
I am in my third semester of college and I was offered a job that pays 
well if I quit school. I could go to night school, but all I earn 
would go into tuition, and right now I am getting loans to pay for 
school. What should I do? My parents want me to finish and get my 
degree before I go to work. Should I take the job? Why are they 
insistent that I not finish college? What if I don't hold the job after 
giving up college?
 
Co-ed for dummies
Diadra
 
Dear Diadra;
 
There will be plenty jobs for you after you finish school, better jobs. 
Don't give up your education for anybody. School is one thing no one 
ever gets enough of.  Do you know that in most other countries women 
aren't allowed to go to higher education? It is one way to keep women 
in a state of servitude. Most good jobs will be happy to pay for your 
education while you are working for them. This job sounds like they 
want you to stay with them forever, even after you outgrow them. Your 
parents have nothing to lose if you finish school, but a lot to lose if 
you quit.
 
Good Schooling
Lily