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Dear Lily

My Husband Doesn't Value My Work
Posted by Lily O'Hara on Feb 20, 2004 - 7:38:00 PM

Dear Lily:

I am so confused. All my life my career has been the most important part of my life. Then I met Mike and I have been slipping at my job. It is a very prestigious position, and it took me two degrees and a lot of climbing to get where I am. Suddenly I am in love with a man who is a mechanic, and whose only pleasure is quitting time. 

He wants me to quit work when we get married and though I love him dearly, I don't think I could live on his salary.
What am I to do? If I tell him how I feel, it will hurt his feelings, and if I don't tell him, I will feel as if my life's work is underrated. What should I do? I know I love him, but no matter what anyone says, "No one can live on love for long."

I enjoy working

Dear Martha:

Your job must mean a lot to you, for you to have doubts about giving it up. You must sit Mike down and tell him that you need to work. Tell him that you will work until you both can afford a house and have a savings account to fall back on, in case you both have children.
I am sure that if he loves you, he will want what is best for you.
If he tells you that he doesn't want you to work, then you know that it is an ego trip for him to rule the roost, and an independent woman like you would never be satisfied with housekeeping on a meager budget.

Good luck and remember, love often goes out the window when money is scarce.

Dear Lily:

I have been out of work for six months because of downsizing. I am in my fifties and don't feel like starting a new career, but I am desperate and discouraged. What can I do to get work?
The unemployment office tells me to get retrained, but then I would be competing with young people, and I would surely lose the competitive edge.
What can I do?  It is a losing battle.

An Old Man

Dear Bill:

Don't put yourself down, because you have a lot going for you. You have a lot of work experience. You will be the first one hired. Employers need responsible people. 

Get retrained and get it on the government’s expense. They have grants and loans for those who qualify.
Try the computer business; they will not downsize for a long time. Or pick some job you know you will like.

Ask the employment department what jobs are out there and then do some research on them.

Good Job hunting!



Cliffside Malibu




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