Edge of the West
Home Of The Brave On The Run
By Ron Scott Smith
Jan 29, 2006 - 7:41:00 PM

WASHINGTON D.C.Welcome to chicken nation. Sorry, had to say it.

Where a timid citizenry cowers beneath its own crumbling pillars of freedom.

Where faux-fearless leaders shepherd their flock into the valley of the shadow of death, where they shall fear all evil, and be so scared of dying that they allow their phone conversations to be monitored at their leader's whims, just in case one of the neighbors might be talking to somebody about how to blow up the neighborhood.

When Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld or Gonzalez listen to what goes out over my wires, their ears must fairly burn right off the side of their heads. Stuff like, "What are you wearing, baby," or "give me the Steelers, lay the four," or  "I know, mom, I've got to make it home for the holidays."

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Make that "home for Christmas." Lose that blasphemous "h" word.  I would never be one to wimp out on the war against the "War on Christmas", as had been officially declared by the Fox News bunch and their ilk, who always seem to need a war against something or other, especially now that the "War on Terror" is sort of losing its legs as a ratings blockbuster. 

"The 'happy holiday' crowd is on the run," crowed a pumped up General Bill O'Reilly over and over again in the tense run-up to the liberation of Christmas, shocking and awing his charges into battle, to save the season to be jolly. Does he build his case for war on faulty intelligence? His own? I report, you decide.

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Good god, man, when I was just about five years old, even back there in conservative, small-town, Pennsylvania, we got over it real fast when we were told that "Seasons Greetings" or "Happy Holidays" may just be a better thing to say sometimes for the benefit of those who don't do Christmas. It was something even a 5-year old could grasp, and in fact embrace. Maybe it even opened our eyes maybe for the first time to the great diverse world that lay beyond our own little pink houses and white picket fences. What? Not everybody does Christmas? Hmm. Are they as good as us? Duh. The revelation was quick and certain for us 5-year-olds, so just what part of that concept did this whiny, adult, "War on Christmas" outfit find so hard to understand?

The best part of it is, on O'Reilly's website- where he shamelessly pitches every imaginable piece of low-rent merchandise, from cheap, plastic "no-spin-zone" coffee mugs to rubber doormats that say "the spin stops here"- he used "Happy Holidays" in the text of all the promos on the site. By the way, just wondering, why would any human being anywhere slightly above moronic, have a Bill O'Reilly "the spin stops here" welcome mat at their front door? Oh well, diversity is as diversity does.

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This "war on anything" crowd is always the loudest and the shrillest, always pounding their chests the hardest, but they really do appear to be nothing so much as a bunch of big scaredy-cats. Remember the duct tape and plastic sheets alert- one of the first official proclamations from the newly created Department of Homeland Security? And the bogus, laughable color-code-terror-alert thing? Is it still there? Why wasn't it elevated in the aftermath of Bin Laden's most recent tape, which as much as announced an imminent attack. Not being an election season, the color-code-terror-alert thing appears to not be of much use to them.

To a man, none of the Fox right-radio types, or the Bush-Cheney leadership types, or the Pat Robertson-Jerry Falwell false-prophet types have ever taken a step anywhere close to any real war that they may have actually had a chance to serve in. Why is it so hard to name a right-wing war hero? From those who rail hardest for war, come the least actions that would actually put their own bodies on the line.

It bears asking- how many times has the current commander-in-chief been to the nation he so proudly reminds us he has liberated? It was once, wasn't it, and that was on an unannounced, stealth visit to Baghdad during the presidential election season so he could have the ultimate photo-op of serving Thanksgiving turkey to a few soldiers. Even then, he flew into the airport in the dead of night with all lights out on the plane, for fear of being hit.



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