VARIOUS—In these times of economic crisis wherein conspicuous consumption has done an about-face and spawned a zany new fad: conspicuous penny-pinching.

LOS ANGELES—I never have had a problem finding parking in Los Angeles.  I'm generally quite reserved, so wherever I go in the city I see all those parking spaces marked "Reserved," I just pull right in.

VARIOUS—Christmas was over, the gifts unwrapped, needle-shedding trees relegated to the curb, I'd already knocked out this week's column, and the best surprise was yet to come. 

CALIFORNIA—California has halted death by lethal injection for being inhumane, but there are many alternate forms of inhumane treatment still available.

HOLLYWOOD—Livin' Large is a mandate in our consumer-frenzied, sybaritic culture, meanwhile the reduced square footage of my new pad has necessitated livin' small.  

HOLLYWOOD—Have you ever wondered, what would happen if an actor plumped up for a role and then later couldn't shed those wanted (for theatrical purposes) pounds?

VARIOUS—Do people reluctantly ask if you lost weight on purpose, or was it disease?  If you answered yes, then you may want to consider going on the original Grady Diet.

VARIOUS—I owe Lindsay Lohan big time. She inspired me to dismiss the dent on the fender of the rented PT Cruiser in a single word: "Paparrazi!"   Ain't life fun in the fishbowl!

VARIOUS— A rag of Gotham once vowed only news that's fit to print.  Now, it's any that fits. If toes get stepped on or facts mangled, there's plenty space for apologies.

VARIOUS— Many a sojourner to West Hollywood reaches the point of they have "had enough."  Yet no sooner do they obey the stirring to head back east, than they will recognize a few precious things left behind that they could never have enough of.

VARIOUS— It’s been said that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. But those following the new boarded-up windows trend can throw as many as they like.

HOLLYWOOD— Paulie Rojas is ready to take on Hollywood no matter the challenge.  She speaks out about the path taken to land her first starring role in a film. She's knows where she is heading.

VARIOUS— In West Hollywood luminaries live anonymously among us, and until their obituary appears does one realize that. So who resides next to you?