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Humor

The Humor Is On Me Now
Posted by Conor on Sep 1, 2002 - 9:00:00 AM

This month, me hearties, the jokes are so clean you can read them to your Mother!

Happy Marriage from a Man's Point of View

It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans. It's
important to find a woman that earns good money. It's important
to find a woman that likes to have sex. It's very important that
these three women never meet.

=== ====== ============= ========= ====== ===

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should
treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave
you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be
severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to
find you a temp."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Little Mickey came into the house with a new harmonica.
   "Grandpa, do you mind if I play this in here?"
   
   "Of course not, Mickey. I love music. In fact, when your
   grandma and I were young, music saved my life."
   
   "What happened, Grandpa?"

"Well, it was during the famous Johnstown
   flood. The dam broke and when the water hit our house it
   knocked it right off the foundation. Grandma got on the
   dining room table and floated out safely."
   
   "How about you,Grandpa! How were you saved?"

"Me? Oh, I accompanied her on the piano!"

===================== ================== =====

Read on! I guarantee a smile maybe even a laugh!

===================

Sign on Plastic Surgeon's Office: "Come In and let us help you pick your nose"
-----------------------------------

Sign over Gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix"
---------------------------------

Sign at a military hospital door to colonoscopy: "To expedite your visit, please back in"
-----------------------------------------------------

Let us conclude with four rib-ticklers from Henny Youngman::

The Doctor says "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

Until next time keep smiling.

And feel free to email your favorites to conor@canyongossip.com



 

Cliffside Malibu

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Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.