This month "The Humor is on Me Now" is mostly for golfers:
What is the difference between a golf ball and a "G-Spot"?
A bloke will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball!!
There are two guys out on the course that come up on a couple of ladies playing too slow. One of the guys walks up towards the ladies to ask if they can play through.
About halfway there he turns around and comes back and says to his friend, "I can't go up there and talk to them, that is my wife and my mistress."
So his friend replies, "I'll go up and ask them." When he is halfway there he turns around and comes back and states to his friend, "Small world."
My wife asked me why I don't play golf with Dean anymore.
I asked her, "Would you continue to play with a guy who cheats, always gets drunk, loses so many balls other groups are always playing through, tells lousy jokes while you are trying to putt and generally offends everyone around him on the course?"
"Certainly not, dear," she replied.
"Well, neither would he."
When a thunderstorm comes when I am out playing golf, most on the course run for cover. I just take out my 1-iron and stand in the middle of the fairway with the club held high over my head and wait for the storm to pass. I do not fear the lightning because I know not even GOD can hit a 1-iron. (Lee Trevino)
A puzzled golfer watched a fellow member don some very unorthodox gear in the clubroom. "How long have you been wearing a corset?" he asked.
"Ever since my wife found it in the car," was the reply.
Three quickies by Henny Youngman:
- I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
- My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!
- My brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
That's all folks, if you would like to see your favorites in print, email Conor@canyonnewspaper.com.
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