The Humor is on Me Now
By Conor
Nov 1, 2003 - 9:43:00 AM

Hi folks, hope you enjoy the following hodgepodge of humorous writings and remember that laughter is good for the soul...

A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out.The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, "Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study to determine why women love Chinese food so much.

The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is: Not Now.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

Photo by Olga Litvin
A lady walks into a Lexus dealership and browses around. Suddenly she spots the most perfect, beautiful car and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escapes her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looks around to see if anyone has noticed and hopes a salesperson doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman. With a pleasant smile he greets her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiles back and asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

Still smiling pleasantly, he replies, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you are gonna s*#% when you hear the price."
I will leave you with some very good advice:
"The most important thing to do when you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging."
Warren Buffett, 1990 Letter to Shareholders

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