There's an old joke that asks:

What is the most dangerous food in the world?

The punch line is "wedding cake."

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The following is quite funny, read on:

An Australian paper carried this story of a central west couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car there in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.  Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand up his shorts and tucked everything back into place.

On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.

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What “success” is :

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· At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
· At age 12, success is...having friends.
· At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
· At age 20, success is...having sex.

· At age 35, success is...having money.
· At age 50, success is...having money.
· At age 60, success is...having sex.
· At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
· At age 75, success is...having friends.
· At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today

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The following was a George Burns line:
"Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair."
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That’s all folks. Until next time keep a humorous thought!