L.A. Ruminations
I Wish, You Wish, We All Wish
By Michael Coscia
Dec 1, 2003 - 2:00:00 PM

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LOS ANGELES — It's that time of year again when we drink too much eggnog, eat too many sugar cookies, kiss total strangers under the mistletoe, and lie awake in the silence of the night reflecting on the past year.

We cringe at the things we didn't accomplish. We sometimes cringe at the things we did accomplish. We pat ourselves on the back for the good things we've done. We try to ignore the mistakes we've made.


We vow next year is going to be better. And to get 2004 jump started we write a "wish list" for the coming year.


I have my special wishes, some profound and some downright ludicrous, but they're my wishes and I want to share them with you. Maybe you'll adopt one of my wishes as one of yours? Then you can tell your friends and maybe that wish will become a worldwide wish. Don't underestimate the power of a wish!


So here they are and I hope they ignite a little spark inside you to take some action, some baby step, into bettering the world around us.


1. I wish people who own SUVs would learn how to drive the oversized things. There is nothing more frightening than driving down a narrow street in the Hollywood Hills and having an SUV come towards you, with the driver too busy talking on their cell phone to realize they need to slowdown and pull over before a collision occurs.


2. I wish celebrities would get smarter about who they date, marry, and sleep with, and keep the sordid details to themselves. Poor Liza needs to triumph over that greedy, gold-digging soon-to-be ex-husband. I can only imagine what details will come out of that bedroom! Ben and Jen? Enough is enough, please!


3. I wish a law would be passed limiting the amount of Botox one can have injected at one time. I fear too much Botox will make us a city of
Planet of the Apes look-a-likes. Pulled cheeks, plastic smiles, catlike eyes - I swear, too much Botox makes skin glow the most unnatural colors in the dark.

4. I wish California would think twice before voting another actor into office. An onscreen action hero is playing a character in a movie. California is not a movie set. Governing California needs more than a few scripted sound bites, swollen pecs, and celebrity gaga status. It needs brains and an understanding of government. Hopefully Arnold will prove me wrong.


5. I wish all pet owners would take wonderful care of their pets and give them the love and care they need. I've watched "Animal Precinct" and seen what's happening and have been sickened by the abuse. It's frightening to think it happens but, sadly, it does. Pets deserve better.


6. I wish theme parks would stop being so greedy and lower their prices. Are they really worth $47 admission fees? Of course that doesn't include the over-priced restaurants you're forced to eat at if your hunger pangs get the best of you. I say boycott the parks until they lower their prices!


7. I wish restaurant owners who receive less than a "B" rating would be forced to eat every meal at their own restaurant. I'm sure we would suddenly see a lot more "A" and "B" ratings. Thank you Joel Grover of NBC4's The Investigators for serving up the truth about Los Angeles restaurants!


8. I wish Trader Joe's would bring back the eggplant pasta sauce I loved so dearly. It was the perfect combination of spices, eggplant, and tomato. It was so delicious that it fooled my mother, who never puts sauce from a jar on her macaroni. She asked for my recipe. I told her it was a "secret."


9. I wish laughter becomes more contagious. It truly is the best medicine. To help you embrace more laughter I encourage you to experience a Miss Coco Peru show (her recent "Undaunted" evening was a knockout) or Charles Phoenix's "God Bless Americana: The Retro Holiday Slide Show!" currently at the Egyptian Theatre. Brilliantly original and totally funny.


And finally, and most importantly,


10. I wish more than anything that hate crimes never happen again, and that Trev Brody (the victim of the most heinous hate crime) makes a full recovery and can someday enjoy life in the same way he did before those goons nearly beat him to death. (Unfortunately I cannot put in print what I think of his attackers.)


So there they are my wishes for the coming year. Adopt one, adopt them all. Let's make 2004 a truly joyous year filled with great cheer, lots of love, less strife, and plenty of buttered popcorn at the movies.


Happy New Year everyone!



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