HOLLYWOOD—HELLO AMERICA! Everybody in Tinseltown agrees that the only important thing missing in Ellen DeGeneres’s career is a major motion picture, one that might display her brilliance as a comedienne. Realizing this, young producer Richard Neal is knocking on her door to consider starring in an updated version of “The Perils of Pauline.” The last time this terribly funny film was offered, it starred the late singer-actress Bette Hutton in 1947.
Our source noted that another remake of the “Pauline” comedy is seriously being considered. There is no doubt that DeGeneres would be perfect in every way to make this running stream of continual mad-comedy work. Neal noted that the timing of a film like this is something the world needs. “We need to laugh again,” he said. “Think of all the wonderful funny people that made a difference down through the years, especially during a time of national or global chaos. Shirley Temple, Buster Keaton, the Marks Brothers, Harold Lloyd, Joe E. Brown, were in that group of outrageous comedy actors who kept the world laughing and energized, believing that the best is yet to come.”
We were also told that DeGeneres, of course, likes the film idea but it has to be tailored to her own way of performing. Since the world has changed so drastically since the days of trains and the expected slapstick routines, the whole center of comedy would have to engender a stem of sophistication, things that today’s audience can easily relate to make it work.
Richard Neal noted that much work is currently being done on the script to shape it in Ellen’s image. “We’re having fun with many of the scenes being devised,” he said. “Without a doubt a film like this is perfect timing for Ellen to take on. It will give her fans another view of her outrageous side – she’ll be able to let it all hang out. It did wonders for Betty Hutton, and it would without a doubt do the same for Ellen.”
My curiosity got the better of me so I decided to call an old friend, Regis Philbin, and ask what he thought about DeGeneres doing “Pauline.” When mentioning the idea, he simply began to laugh and said, “Man! Now that would be a helluva picture, don’t you think? I remember seeing Betty Hutton and I laughed for an hour after leaving the theater. Hell yes, why not? The timing is right – all we have to do is watch the faces of the people in our streets. They are rebelling against all the crap the country is facing. Yeah, I think Ellen in a film like that would help to lighten things up. She’s one funny lady.”
