Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.

Name

E-mail

facebook Canyon News twitter Canyon News

Canyon News

Bel Air News

Beverly Hills News

Brentwood News

Hollywood Hills News

Laurel Canyon News

Los Angeles News

Los Feliz News

Malibu News

Melrose News

Pacific Palisades News

Santa Monica News

Sherman Oaks News

Studio City News

Topanga Canyon News

West Hollywood News

Westwood News

Woodland Hills

Celebrity News

State News

National News

World Headlines

Deaf News

Entertainment

Film

Television

Music

On the Industry

Star Gazing

St. John's Confidential File

Theatrical Musings

Life & Style

Event Listings

Tech Talk

Looking Good For Lots Less

Spirit & Creativity

Miller Time

Books

View from the Hill

NY WEST

Chrystal's Recipe Corner

Career and Life Coaching

Gardening With Tony

Life According To Lenson

Real Estate Realities

Food

Sports

Marathon Running

Keeping It Bruin: A Look Into UCLA Athletics

Baseball

Basketball

Football

Hockey

Pets

Vi's Corner

Pet Tips

Point of View

John Armor

Message to America

Critic At Large... Ruta Lee

Labor Week

Ramblings

10 Degrees Cooler

McConnors corner

Edge of the west

The Physics Wizard

Auto

Kyle's Kars

Travel

Susan Michelle's Compass

Advice

Ask Deanna

Dear Lily

Ask Oona

Features

Dancing with Earthquakes

Archives

Sports Schedules

Traveling Beyond the Canyon

Edge of the West

Law Man

Ask Us

Nathan Tabor

The Angry Economist

Truth Probe

As I See It

Columnists

Truth Conquers

The Live Wire

Notes from Exile

Letters to the Editor

Dog Training by Anthony

Canyon Mews

Speak!

Sponsors

America's Most Wanted Dogs

World Recipes

Vegetarian Lifestyle

Humor

News Briefs

Local News

Books

News

Canyon Fodder

Bad Movie Night

Critical Projection

Ed's on the Town

Fitness Quests

Flashback Films

Stories of the Strange

Gourmet Grandma

He Said/She Said

Home Matters with Yvonne

L.A. Etch-a-Sketch

L.A. Ruminations

McConnor's Corner

Mommy Minute

Musically Speaking

My Back Pages

Publisher's Pages

ResourceINK

Scene and Heard in L.A.

Silly...But Wise!

Sunset Diaries

Table Options

The Paws Cause

TV Stuff

Cartoon of the Week



Miller Time

The $10,000 Pooch (Part 3 of 4)
Posted by Grady Miller on Aug 1, 2007 - 5:10:26 PM

Rodrigo, the peacemaking hairdresser with the Farah Fawcett bangs, placed his hands between the bickering couple and gently pushed them apart.  Valeria glared at Norman, who in a burst of angry energy, had pried his hand, along with a linoleum tile, from the floor.  Before anybody could say a word, Norman's mobile phone did the cha-cha-cha, and caller ID flashed the letters: M*r. B*i*g*

        "Valeria, get that," Norman barked.  "It's awkward with a floor tile super-glued to my right hand."

        She took the phone from its holster, and said, "Hello."  Rodrigo watched, alarmed as Valeria's expression underwent a drastic change.  She gulped, her face turned ghost-pale, and beads of sweat formed on her unlined forehead.  Slowly handing the phone back to Norman, she said, "If we don't have the money by noon tomorrow . . ."   That's as far as she got, before sobs truncated the thought.

        "It's too awful," she wailed.  "I can't tell you."

        "Why can't you tell me?" Norman said.   "There are no secrets between us."

        Valeria took a deep breath and relented, "Mr. Big said they'd lock us in a room, alone, with Dia and Ray, the Hollywood Hills' hottest real estate team.  He also promised a visit from a hooded stranger selling toupees."

        "Nooooo!" Norman shrieked.  "Mr. Big must have seen my therapist's files.  He knows my phobia of signing disclosures and my recurring nightmare.  As a child, I was deathly afraid of going to sleep.  I had this frightening dream that the earth is attacked by giant toupees that terrorize the population and kidnap all the bald men on the planet.  Telly Savalas would knock on our door, 'You've got to protect me kid.  And whatever you do, don't let the toupees know I'm here.'  One of the toupees came knocking at our door.  They asked if there were any bald men in our house, I said no, cross my heart and hope to die if I should tell a lie.  Then the toupees gave me some Tootsie Rolls, and I snitched."

        Valeria looked at Norman is if he were the guy in the bus, wearing a beanie with a propeller on top and spouting verses from "Howl."

        "I thought there were no secrets between us," Valeria said.  "I see I was sadly mistaken.  It seems you like Tootsie Rolls."

        "I didn't say that.  I was a kid, and it was a dream. . ."

        "The father of my children could never condone Tootsie Rolls.  I'll tell you that right now, Norman," she said curtly. "We're wasting time.  Rodrigo, get me the flyer for the dog." 

        She snatched it with impatience from Rodrigo's hand, and glared at the phone number and name of the dog's owners.  Mr. Big's phone call had prompted an about-face in Valeria, who suddenly turned from  this venture's number one doubter to its greatest booster.

        "I think the dog's owner must be Armenian," she remarked, punching the numbers into Norman's phone.  ". . . Hello, Mr. Fallopian, yes.  We saw a flyer for your lost dog in Runyon Canyon.  I think we may have him here.  Me and my boyfriend found him. . . Are you all right, sir. . . Hello?  Hello?"

        "Please come to the house at once," Mr. Fallopian said between coughs and assurances that he was O.K., and gave Valeria an address in Echo Park.  After a few minutes of searching and questioning children on the street, they located the house, a modest bungalow.  They rang the doorbell and waited.  Again, they rang the doorbell.  Finally, shuffling and coughing resounded through the nether regions of the house.

Norman's phone.  ". . . Hello, Mr. Fallopian, yes.  We saw a flyer for your lost dog in Runyon Canyon.  I think we may have him here.  Me and my boyfriend found him. . . Are you all right, sir. . . Hello?  Hello?"

        "Please come to the house at once," Mr. Fallopian said between coughs and assurances that he was O.K., and gave Valeria an address in Echo Park.  After a few minutes of searching and questioning children on the street, they located the house, a modest bungalow.  They rang the doorbell and waited.  Again, they rang the doorbell.  Finally, shuffling and coughing resounded through the nether regions of the house.

        "Yes," said a rusty, hostile voice from behind a closed door.  Zoe, the painted shih tzu, made a low growling sound and bared her teeth.  Nervousness oozed from their every pore; soon Norman and Valeria would be naked and vulnerable before the appraising eye of Boku's original owner.

        "Whatever it is, I'm not buying," continued the voice behind the door.  "And if you're these Jehovah people, you can pick up some mail from me that's going to my neighbor's house."

        "Sir, we're here about your lost dog," Valeria said.



 

Cliffside Malibu

-------------------------

-------------------------

 

Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.