Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.

Name

E-mail

facebook Canyon News twitter Canyon News

Canyon News

Bel Air News

Beverly Hills News

Brentwood News

Hollywood Hills News

Laurel Canyon News

Los Angeles News

Los Feliz News

Malibu News

Melrose News

Pacific Palisades News

Santa Monica News

Sherman Oaks News

Studio City News

Topanga Canyon News

West Hollywood News

Westwood News

Woodland Hills

Celebrity News

State News

National News

World Headlines

Deaf News

Entertainment

Film

Television

Music

On the Industry

Star Gazing

St. John's Confidential File

Theatrical Musings

Life & Style

Event Listings

Tech Talk

Looking Good For Lots Less

Spirit & Creativity

Miller Time

Books

View from the Hill

NY WEST

Chrystal's Recipe Corner

Career and Life Coaching

Gardening With Tony

Life According To Lenson

Real Estate Realities

Food

Sports

Marathon Running

Keeping It Bruin: A Look Into UCLA Athletics

Baseball

Basketball

Football

Hockey

Pets

Vi's Corner

Pet Tips

Point of View

John Armor

Message to America

Critic At Large... Ruta Lee

Labor Week

Ramblings

10 Degrees Cooler

McConnors corner

Edge of the west

The Physics Wizard

Auto

Kyle's Kars

Travel

Susan Michelle's Compass

Advice

Ask Deanna

Dear Lily

Ask Oona

Features

Dancing with Earthquakes

Archives

Sports Schedules

Traveling Beyond the Canyon

Edge of the West

Law Man

Ask Us

Nathan Tabor

The Angry Economist

Truth Probe

As I See It

Columnists

Truth Conquers

The Live Wire

Notes from Exile

Letters to the Editor

Dog Training by Anthony

Canyon Mews

Speak!

Sponsors

America's Most Wanted Dogs

World Recipes

Vegetarian Lifestyle

Humor

News Briefs

Local News

Books

News

Canyon Fodder

Bad Movie Night

Critical Projection

Ed's on the Town

Fitness Quests

Flashback Films

Stories of the Strange

Gourmet Grandma

He Said/She Said

Home Matters with Yvonne

L.A. Etch-a-Sketch

L.A. Ruminations

McConnor's Corner

Mommy Minute

Musically Speaking

My Back Pages

Publisher's Pages

ResourceINK

Scene and Heard in L.A.

Silly...But Wise!

Sunset Diaries

Table Options

The Paws Cause

TV Stuff

Cartoon of the Week



Miller Time

Gimme My Fix
Posted by Grady Miller on Apr 1, 2007 - 11:50:00 PM

VARIOUS— So here I am, groveling, asking a 5-year-old whether a maple bar is a doughnut or a pastry.  Tell me, please, is a maple bar a doughnut or a pastry?  The moral and religious implications are enormous; the destiny of my soul, no less, hangs in the balance.   

        This all started innocently with a visit to church.  I usually go once a decade, or so, and this time we went with my parents and wife, who is of the Catholic faith, to a church on Holloway, west of Barney's Beanery.  I had never been to this church before, and I presumed because of its location (West Hollywood) and its congregation (probably a lot of actors and creative folks) that I was sure to go home with a New Age kernel of wisdom that would glow throughout the week like feel-good radium.  A bit of Neale Donald Walsch meets Norman Vincent Peale.

        The mass started off promising enough with a reading from the gospel of Matthew.  The part that says, "Ask and you shall receive."  The elderly priest then tottered over to a pontifical chair and sat to deliver his homily.  Without warning, he brought up a topic in very poor taste.  Death.  He mentioned that all of us were going to die.  It was not a question of if, but when.  Nobody in the pews knew quite what to say, or else they were being very polite.  

        The priest's obvious infirmity prompted the not unmirthful image of him suddenly being stricken and keeling over while warning us of Death.  But that was not to happen.  His frail voice growing stronger, he urged people to honor the season of Lent, and observe the forty days of penitence and fasting that follow the saturnalia of Fat Tuesday, lest their chances for salvation were hurt when death came knocking. 

        After the mass, when worshipers clad in Southern California casual clothes merrily walked out the doors oblivious to the message of mortality, my mother (who is not Catholic) asked me what I was going to do for lent.  I know that some people stop smoking for that 40-day period or abstain from eating beef tacos.  That suggestion that I had any vice to give up struck me as ridiculous.

        Yes, I could temporarily could give up my bondage to gasoline--impossible.   Stop drinking coffee--unendurable.   After a couple days I realized that the perfect thing to give up would be doughnuts.  Face it, I like my afternoon coffee, and I like something sweet with it.  Giving up doughnuts was a true sacrifice.

        This first couple of days all I could think about was going to Bob's at Farmers Market and getting a honey-wheat glazed, flaky circle of deep-fried melt-in-your-mouth fat-filled dough.  I compensated by putting a lot of sugar in my coffee.  But, you know, after the third day my body started feeling good.  My Lenten sacrifice had initiated a cleansing.     

        During this period, I have made acquaintance with all kinds of new pastries, developing a particular fondness for raisin-filled bran muffins.  Yesterday I tried halva, a kosher treat of sesame seed and cocoa that combines very well with java   Do you know the French baker who goes to the Plummer Park farmers' market?  His cinnamon swirls definitely qualify as pastry, not doughnuts, I rationalized, and surrendered to temptation. But by the time I reached his stand he was sold out.  Could it be divine intervention?

        Let us go back to the scene that started this.  My five-year-old daughter has bought a maple bar at 7-Eleven.  As is her wont, she eats half of it and says, "Here, daddy, have this."  That's when I have to ask, is a maple bar a doughnut or a pastry? 

Like a man playing craps hell-bent on rolling a seven, I'm thinking 'Come on baby!  Say pastry, say pastry so I can eat it!'  She replies, "I think it's a doughnut."

        Children are so honest.



 

Cliffside Malibu

-------------------------

-------------------------

 

Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.