Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.

Name

E-mail

facebook Canyon News twitter Canyon News

Canyon News

Bel Air News

Beverly Hills News

Brentwood News

Hollywood Hills News

Laurel Canyon News

Los Angeles News

Los Feliz News

Malibu News

Melrose News

Pacific Palisades News

Santa Monica News

Sherman Oaks News

Studio City News

Topanga Canyon News

West Hollywood News

Westwood News

Woodland Hills

Celebrity News

State News

National News

World Headlines

Deaf News

Entertainment

Film

Television

Music

On the Industry

Star Gazing

St. John's Confidential File

Theatrical Musings

Life & Style

Event Listings

Tech Talk

Looking Good For Lots Less

Spirit & Creativity

Miller Time

Books

View from the Hill

NY WEST

Chrystal's Recipe Corner

Career and Life Coaching

Gardening With Tony

Life According To Lenson

Real Estate Realities

Food

Sports

Marathon Running

Keeping It Bruin: A Look Into UCLA Athletics

Baseball

Basketball

Football

Hockey

Pets

Vi's Corner

Pet Tips

Point of View

John Armor

Message to America

Critic At Large... Ruta Lee

Labor Week

Ramblings

10 Degrees Cooler

McConnors corner

Edge of the west

The Physics Wizard

Auto

Kyle's Kars

Travel

Susan Michelle's Compass

Advice

Ask Deanna

Dear Lily

Ask Oona

Features

Dancing with Earthquakes

Archives

Sports Schedules

Traveling Beyond the Canyon

Edge of the West

Law Man

Ask Us

Nathan Tabor

The Angry Economist

Truth Probe

As I See It

Columnists

Truth Conquers

The Live Wire

Notes from Exile

Letters to the Editor

Dog Training by Anthony

Canyon Mews

Speak!

Sponsors

America's Most Wanted Dogs

World Recipes

Vegetarian Lifestyle

Humor

News Briefs

Local News

Books

News

Canyon Fodder

Bad Movie Night

Critical Projection

Ed's on the Town

Fitness Quests

Flashback Films

Stories of the Strange

Gourmet Grandma

He Said/She Said

Home Matters with Yvonne

L.A. Etch-a-Sketch

L.A. Ruminations

McConnor's Corner

Mommy Minute

Musically Speaking

My Back Pages

Publisher's Pages

ResourceINK

Scene and Heard in L.A.

Silly...But Wise!

Sunset Diaries

Table Options

The Paws Cause

TV Stuff

Cartoon of the Week



Miller Time

Dear All
Posted by Grady Miller on Jan 6, 2008 - 1:39:44 PM

Dear All:

Hope you’ve done your shoplifting, er, shopping and sent out all your Christmas cards.  I’m way behind on my Christmas cards.  As a matter of fact, as you will note these cards say, “Have a Happy, Prosperous and Healthy 2005,” but I was able to draw a line across the five and make it look like an eight.

This last year has been eventful for our family, full of many blessings, achievements, and its share of colorful tribulations.   

Our son, Chris, was promoted in August to manager of the local McDonald’s.  He has been very good to Ted and I, providing lavish gifts and a delightful caregiver, who occasionally kites checks.  He gives me a lot of bling, including a diamond and emerald brooch last Mother's Day that’s to die for.  His clothes are the snazziest in Radiation Springs; he buys T-shirts from a guy named Fred Seagull.  They look like something from the 99¢ store, but they cost hundreds of dollars. These kids!  He just bought a persimmon-orange Cadillac Escalade last month.  How he manages to do all this on his McDonald’s salary is beyond me, but I never was good in math.

My husband, Ted, is enjoying a Renaissance after retirement and is finally getting around to activities he'd wanted to do his whole life.  Like fishing and hunting.  He will try to think up my name and spend five minutes hunting for it.  Then he will go back to slobbering in front of the plasma TV set.  Then he’ll yell, “Dottie, where’s the moose?”  Bless his heart.

His fine mind is intact, tho’, and he shows his characteristic curiosity, frequently asking “What day is this?” and “Who are you?”   We've managed to take four cruises this year and save a lot of money.  For instance, the Caribbean cruise.  All I have to do is tell Ted we're anchored in Port-Au-Prince or Kingston.  He nods his head and smiles the most serene smile.  We do all this without even leaving the house!  With all the money we're saving on travel, we're able to afford all the exotic meds that keep Ted in a persistent vegetative state, which is such a blessing.

People at church say, “Dottie, what can I do to help?  It must be no bed of roses.”  I just smile and ask them if they can recommend a hit man.

The week before Christmas the weirdest thing happened.  Chris's new Escalade blew up in the pizza parlor parking lot, as they were inside having a children’s party.  All the windows were blown out and a few pepperoni pizzas got burnt to a crisp.  The Escalade was blown to smithereens.  We count our blessings and are so, so grateful that neither Chris nor the grandkids were inside, or they would have been pulverized very badly.  (Bertha, our daughter-in-law was also spared.)

Chris hasn't an enemy in the world, unless it was a customer angry over not enough pickles on his Quarter Pounder or the coffee being too hot.  Maybe the bomb was meant for somebody else who owned the Escalade before.  But Chris got it showroom-new from the dealership; it still had dealer plates on it when it got blown up.  Bertha thinks it was some Eco-Terrorists.  Can you imagine Eco-Terrorists in Radiation Springs?  Heck, we don't even have an environment here; we have to go out of town for that.

The sheriffs appeared on our doorstep the day after Christmas to question us.  Turns out they weren't here about the car explosion but were curious about my attempts to solicit a hit man at the church social.  And they observed my recent habit of leaving Ted alone in the car with keys in the ignition and the motor running.  They have arrested me on attempted murder charges.  Can you believe without bail?

Our dear Melissa is now with child, a great blessing. 

How these young ones grow up!  It would be nice to know who the father is, but Melissa “sowed her wild oats,” as they say, and the field of candidates is slightly larger than the offense for the Dallas Cowboys.  Christ has promised to pull some strings with the prosecutor, but I may still be behind bars when I become a great grandmother this spring.  Oh well.

Love and may all of you all have a blessed year!

 



 

Cliffside Malibu

-------------------------

-------------------------

 

Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.