Miller Time
The Grady Diet
By Grady Miller
Dec 9, 2007 - 9:15:23 AM

Eight years after the cameras stopped rolling, I was left with a 37-inch waist, and now it's down to 33.  I have lost along the range of fifty pounds over the last two years.  What is my secret?

Now we are midway between Thanksgiving and Christmas, an abundant season when most folks throw nutritional wisdom to the wind and pimp goodies recklessly in a sort of an American version of Rio's carnival, an orgiastic letting-go coupled with shopping (consumption) and more feasting (consumption), I am prepared at last to reveal my dieting secret.

The tenets of the New Grady Diet are presented here in the form of dialogue with the one overweight person I was able to round up in West Hollywood.

How do I start?

Number one: Start from the place of  "I'm OK just the way I am."   This relieves the pressure and hair-pulling unhappiness and frustration associated with dieting.

Number two: Exercise in the morning, first thing.  Get stretching and moving before you have a chance to become aware of your hangover.  I have developed a  20-minute routine from yogic stretches and sit-ups and leg lifts.

People who exercise later in the day end up burning the calories from the food they have eaten.  Exercising on an empty stomach burns the body fat directly before there is a new influx blood sugar in the veins.  This lifestyle change alone may be all you ever need to gently bring you to the perfect weight.

So far you haven't told me anything about actual diet or food at all.

OK, here are my big four dietary practices:

—Eat at only mealtimes.

—No beverages during meals.  (Liquids slow down the digestion process by diluting the digestive juices.)

—Fruit before noon.  (This I apply four weekdays, the other days are for reserved for eggs and hotcakes.)

—Plenty of vegetables the rest of the time.  Fresh, boiled, steamed, in salads.

Is there anything you won't eat?

Potato chips.  Breaking up with Laura Scudders was a life-changing step.  Also, reduce breads as much as possible.  The doughnuts and cinnamon swirls which were the centerpiece for my get-fat-for-the-movie diet go by the wayside.

What about beer?

I'll have it a half hour before mealtime.

What if I have a constant need to hop on scales and check my weight?

Don't bother keeping a bathroom scale around the house.  It avoids the daily rush to judgment about the status of your diet and perpetuates a cycle of guilt and recrimination every time you see that needle come against an undesired number.

What else can I do to maintain a healthy weight?

Watch what comes in your mouth and out of you mouth.  That is, refrain from ridiculous assertions about food,  i.e. after that piece of forever strawberry cheesecake, ""I'll starve myself all week."  Or "This will be the last piece of dessert I ever have."  Such thoughtless phrases amount to threats against yourself and water the weeds of food mania.

All right, I have adopted these practices, and the pounds have melted away.  My friends and colleagues exclaim in envious admiration.  But what do I do about family members, who are afraid I'm sick?

These are the people who bugged you as a kid about your weight and bequeathed you with a problem, when in fact there was no problem.

Now they accuse you of eating "rabbit food" and urge you to go to a doctor.  They really want it both ways.  They want to insult you and sow insecurity whether you're gaining or losing.

You know, everyone has a right to feel good about themselves.  It doesn't matter what people say—family members especially.  And remember this holiday season, eat, drink, laugh and be merry!

 



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