Posted by Trevor Roberts on Apr 10, 2014 - 5:38:31 AM
UNITED STATES—Family is at the core of most of our lives. We will dredge through the depths of Hell and back to protect those that we care about most, but at the same time family can be the people who burn you to the core. Is it intentional? In most cases, no; but there are times where the ‘intention’ is so evident the goal was to cause emotional stress.
So what has ushered this tense conversation? A recent family squabble literally boiled my skin to epic proportions and it’s because I KNEW in some fashion something was about to transpire, I just had no idea how explosive it would be. Perhaps the decisive factor in this entire melee is that this isn’t the first time the guilty party engaged in bad behavior.
Like television family squabbles are something we all encounter.
It’s like that broken record that plays over and over again; hey, I’ve heard all this crap before, I prefer not to hear it again. You’ve heard the phrase, “Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you.” I always wonder why people say that because in all true essence it doesn’t make sense, but it’s a cautious tale of keeping your friends close, but keeping your enemies closer. This is not to say a single individual in a person’s family is a sworn enemy, but I have come to discover that certain family members are willing to test you time and time again to see how much you’re willing to be pushed.
I’m a level headed person, but just like every other person, we all have limits. When pushed too far, one can explode! Things can be said that one is unable to take back, actions can be done that can have epic consequences. All of those things took place with me in a matter of seconds, but just when I suspected I was about to blow my casket, I caught myself. I had a slight moment that caused me to think about my actions before I acted.I’ve realized you can talk a person to death, but if they don’t want to hear it, it does nothing in the long run.
I’ve encountered many family squabbles in my life span and heck I haven’t even reached 40 yet, but wisdom is indeed on my side. Why might you ask? I’ve learned that you teach people not to take advantage of your kindness, by killing them with actual kindness.It's not as straightforward as one would suspect, it’s more so an issue of not addressing the guilty party until they realize they are in the wrong.
That’s what I’ve discovered about family; people are stubborn. The will for one to admit his or her wrongdoings is not likely to happen, but if you refuse to entertain such tomfoolery, the message becomes clear to the guilty party.
I’m not an advocate of praising bad behavior. If anything it sends a terrible message to the person responsible for committing such acts. If they get away with it the first time, they suspect they can do it a second, third, fourth or even a fifth time. The issue with family is that forgiveness is a tough pill to swallow because blood, no matter how brutal they can treat you at times, is still blood. The heart wants you to forgive, but in so many instances you question rather the guilty party is sincere in his or her wrongdoing or if it’s them getting away with what they’ve done so many times before.
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