Point of View
Trying Not To Be Bitter
By Trevor Roberts
Aug 11, 2013 - 5:40:33 AM

UNITED STATES—Some people would say that a bitter person is an unhappy person and I would agree. I’d like to equate the term bitter with someone who holds a grudge.  So why is it that we hold grudges?  Well it’s because our emotions don’t allow us to forgive and forget. 


It’s easy to forgive someone who has wronged you in the past, but it’s not as easy to forget it.  Your mind does not easily allow you to do so.  If that was the case, so many of us wouldn’t hold grudges or be bitter towards others.  Perhaps a little bit of psychotherapy could impact memory loss, but in this day and age, the odds of that happening is slim to none.  The reason this issue is so important to me is the fact that I hold onto grudges that are trivial to a degree.  I want to forgive people and move along, but the hurt sometimes makes it so difficult.


Perhaps talking things out with the guilty party will make the conversation a tad easier.  The thing about any conversation is you’re likely to unearth previous emotions that you’ve attempted to keep dormant for fear of appearing vulnerable. People will indeed feed off of that if they suspect it; it happens time and time again. The thing about bitterness is that it keeps one from achieving and moving forward to a happy life. 


That anger, resentment that a person holds onto, clouds their judgment from focusing on what is truly important in life.  A lot of the time, grudges stem from blood relatives.  Family is the most important thing in life, but at the same time they are the people who at times will hurt you more than any other person.  When it comes to blood you want to forgive, move forward, but the sting of betrayal cuts deep to the core. Those who are given second chances end up hurting you again and again, before you know it you’ve had enough.  The protective barrier is built and it’s going to take more than a bulldozer to tear it down. 


We are all guilty of being bitter, the issue to learn ways to put that hurt and betrayal behind you so that you don’t indulge in the past, but focus on the future.  I think we’d all like to make changes to things we’ve done in the past, but ask yourself the question, “How would changing the past affect my future?”  Things happen for a reason, we may always understand ”˜why’ that is when we want to, but it comes to us in due time.


Take that bitterness that you may be holding against someone, place it into a jar and shatter it.  Let the past be the past and move to the future.  You will be so much happier with yourself for allowing that negative energy to be expelled from your life.

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