Silly...But Wise!
Silly But Wise: Advice From An Articulate Angora
By Silly (Yes, a rabbit !)
May 1, 2003 - 9:59:00 AM

I'm Silly, and I am one wise rabbit!

Q: Dear Silly ~ Why do our owners parade around the premises naked in front of us, as if this behavior isn't traumatic to us?

Signed, A Pekinese Wanting Less of a Peek (Hollywood Hills)

A: Dear Freaked By The Peek ~ Humans do this, as if we aren't even there ... and it's just a plain and simple lack of respect! (Most of them really don't know how unattractive they are with no clothes on.) If we run from the room as fast as we can whenever this occurs, there is some hope that we might eventually give them a complex. Try it.


Q: Dear Silly ~ My master got deployed to Iraq six weeks ago, and I'm really depressed without him --- any advice?
Signed, Yellow Labrador With A Yellow Ribbon (Laurel Canyon)

A: Dear Lonely Lab ~ Persuade whoever cares for you now to let you have an article with your master's scent on it. Maybe a sweatshirt, or a blanket to sleep with. Sometimes people don't remember that we grieve too, and can miss someone as much as they can. This might help you to feel comforted until your master returns.


Q: Dear Silly ~ I'm a little Pomeranian. When my mom, Shirley, accidentally drops things on the floor in the kitchen she often hollers "doggone it !" This really confuses me! What does it mean?
Signed, Lulu with a Language Barrier (Los Angeles)

A: Dear Little Lulu ~ Use your discretion. If it's a sausage that falls to the floor, this is your command to run over and see that it's "dog gone" before Shirley has to stress herself with bending over to get it. Conversely, if something more blas falls to the ground (like a plastic cup) sit nearby and tap your little foot patiently. Wait for a real payoff.


Q: Dear Silly ~ I'm a kitty who was looking forward to the first one of my nine lives when I was unexpectedly dropped off at an animal control shelter. I was so afraid. But my new parents came and rescued me in the nick of time'and named me Nick! I'm sooooooo happy now. Are there lots of stories like mine?
Signed, Nick With A New Life (Malibu)

A: Dear Nick Who Got Picked ~ What a great story and a great name. Unfortunately, in Southern California there are thousands of pets who don't get chosen in time to spare their precious lives. Our need is great for "no-kill" shelters, where animals will not be put to sleep before their new family has a chance to discover them. Other shelters reserve the right to end an animal's life as early as ONE HOUR after it arrives, although most permit a grace period of 7 full days. Let's just say that your new carton of milk has a shelf life in the refrigerator that's longer than many animals will be permitted to live inside a shelter. Sad, but true.

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