Silly, But Wise!
Posted by Silly (Yes...a rabbit!) on Jun 1, 2003 - 7:30:00 PM
Wascally doesn't even begin to cover it. Meet Silly Tarver - the articulate angora. (Yes, a rabbit!)
"For too long," laments Silly, "the opinions of domesticated and non-domesticated animals have been ignored. No more."
Responding to inquiries from pets and strays of all breeds in her column Silly, But Wise!, this outspoken rabbit shares her amusing, yet educational, perspective of things --- dispensing a brand of wisdom, humor, and advice for all species.
She's got the answers. And it's not just a lucky guess (because of her four feet) either.
Furry friends, no need to continue down-playing your literacy. Find out whatever it is you wish to know about humans by asking Silly questions! No question is too silly.
And trust it's the truth because Silly Said So.
Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org --- and selected responses will be published in an upcoming edition of the Canyon News.
Q: Dear Silly ~ First of all, I want to speak for all birds and say we enjoy having your column at the bottom of our cages! I'm dropping you a line now because over the years I've felt pretty offended by the term "bird brain" that humans use to insult one another! Can you please tell us something factual and impressive about a bird's brain that will boost our self-esteem ?
Signed, Yet Another Parrot Named Polly (Mulholland)
A: Dear Perturbed Polly ~ We rabbits suffer from certain stereotypes too, so I do sympathize! As for your question, it's true --- birds have customarily been categorized as featherheads. Beautiful, but dumb. However -- lots of birds are quite clever and intelligent! Here is something that people may not realize about parrots: Your brain allows you do something only a few other species (hummingbirds, songbirds, whales, dolphins, bats, and human beings) can do. You can learn to make "new" sounds by imitating what you have heard. A word to my readers: Polly wants an apology, not a cracker!
Q: Dear Silly ~ What if our particular letter isn't chosen to be published in your newspaper column? Are you guaranteed to write back to all of us who contact you for advice?
Signed, A Curious Collie (Santa Monica)
A: Dear Collie ~ I'm a rabbit. Not an octopus.
Q: Dear Silly ~ I'm a dog with a feline sister. (I admit it sounds like a Jerry Springer Show.) We recently returned from a month-long vacation with our owner, and we had to go to the vet for check-ups. Each of us found it a bit humiliating to have that little wand pushed into our rectums. Why, why, why do they have to do this? Do they have a sick sense of humor?
Signed, Vinny the Dachshund (Brentwood)
A: Dear Vinny-Who-Was-Invaded ~ Your owner loves you and just wants to make sure you didn't pick up a virus while away from home. So, as a routine part of your office visit, they were taking your temperatures. I think you only imagined that your vet was enjoying it. Normal temperature for a dog is 100.2 - 100.8 degrees Fahrenheit. Normal temperature for a cat is 100.5 - 102.5 degrees Fahrenheit. (Temperatures under 100 and over 104 should be considered an emergency.) I know it wasn't fun, but it was for your own good.
Q: Dear Silly ~ I'm a lop-ear rabbit named Pointy. (I've been accused of being indecisive because one ear points up, the other points down.) Finally, I have a good home. But it seems to me that it's PEOPLE who are so indecisive. First they want us, and then they don't. Why are bunnies so often kicked out of the family? We don't deserve that!
Signed ~ Pointy, the Lop (Los Feliz)
A: Dear Lop With A Point ~ It makes me sad to know that throughout Southern California, HUNDREDS OF CALLS PER MONTH are made by people who want to "donate" their pet rabbits back to various organizations because they don't want them anymore. People are smitten with our cuteness (and rightfully so!) but soon they seem too lazy to learn about us -- and take the time to really integrate us into their lives. This is a topic that is close to my heart; thanks for writing and asking this one! I am happy to share info about a compassionate non- profit organization called BUNNYLUV, (818) 988-4488, and personally vouch that they are a wonderful resource for owners of rabbits. One of their unique specialties is "bunny-bonding" and this means they help people to live with their rabbits as companions! They can answer questions about safety tips on bunny- proofing a home and give info about litter-box training for us. Families can adopt a bunny who is already spayed or neutered, and the organization will share insights to help someone understand a rabbits' needs and behaviors. People can also learn how to socialize a bunny into a family with other pets. Visit bunnyluv.org --- to learn more. They are a dream come true for bunnies everywhere who deserve be loved.
Q: Dear Silly ~ I overheard a man say that dogs do things that don't make any sense whatsoever. He said "dogs hate it when you blow in their faces," but, yet, the first thing we like to do when we get in the car is stick our faces out of the window! What do you think about this?
Signed, Rex (Topanga Canyon)
A: Dear Rex ~ I think it makes perfect sense, and that he should use a breath freshener.
Something for Silly to solve? Send questions to: Silly@canyonnewspaper.com
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