Stories of the Strange
Posted by M. Cherise Perez on Feb 5, 2006 - 9:08:00 PM
Deus Ex Subcriptio
READING, PA – Unsatisfied with being plain ol’ 40-year old Paul S. Sewell, registered Republican, this Pennsylvania citizen decided to make his mark on the world – and legal documents – by signing his name as “God.”
Sewell did not claim rights to this moniker out of any messianic ambitions; he may just be having an identity crisis as a side-effect of his day job as a bail enforcement agency owner. According to Sewell, as he makes arrests, he is commonly hit with pleas like “ ‘ Oh, God, give me another chance,’ ” and “ ‘ Oh, God, let me go.’ ”
His drivers’ license and a credit card both bear the mark of God, but the Berks County Elections Board is apparently not as permissive as the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation. Sewell is required to enlighten the board and explain why God is signed on his registration form. He validates his signature by claiming it is only a legal mark, and is no less acceptable than an illiterate signing a form with an “X.”
Perhaps now prisoners that he puts away can legitimately say that it is God’s fault that they are in jail.
Bidding for Buddies
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – Ever feel like you’re buying your friends? Well, you’re not alone!
At least 96 people have bid on an eBay Auction for a weekend of fun and sun with Aussies Corey, Mark, Zac, and Lachie. By January 31, barely halfway into the auction, the top bid was over $41,000 (USD). By the time bidding closes, the fearless foursome will have a new buddy and a nice chunk of pocket change.
The human goods consist of three salesmen and a law student – and there are rumors of attendance by a UK sport celebrity.
Here are the juiciest snippets of the auction description:
“We'll be your best mates – instantly.”
"Don't have friends who are up for a couple of beers, a few snags (sausages) and a hell of a good time? Or just bored with your current friends and their obsession with nerd stuff?”
"You won't have to try and impress us. And you'll get to experience the thrills and spills of hanging out with four good blokes in a relaxing, sun-filled environment."
Interested? Intrigued? Sorry folks, the auction ends February 4. Maybe you’ll catch the bidding next time…
Close Encounters of the Mammalian Kind
NORWAY – Kjell Granness spotted a moose surfing the Namsen River waves on an unwaxed piece of clear ice on Monday. The wicked waves and free ice boards were provided courtesy of the high temperatures and heavy precipitation in north-central Norway.
After riding the frosty surf, the moose finally wiped out under a bridge somewhere downstream from Overhalla. The fully grown moose, aka “King of the Forest,” eventually regained its ground and scrambled up the bank and toward civilization.
DARNESTOWN, MD. – Zodiac, a lovely dark grey llama (or maybe an alpaca – nobody is quite sure), is on the loose in Montgomery County.
The llama lived peacefully on a Maryland farm until a dog startled him through a fence, and into the fierce Darnestown wild of streets and cars. Two other animals broke through the fence with Zodiac – but he was the only one lucky enough not to be caught.
Zodiac was last sighted on Sunday at Haddonfield Lane and Route 28. Please report any suspicious llama activity to the Montgomery County Police Hotline: 301-279-8000.
Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.