Stories of the Strange
Stories Of The Strange
By M. Cherise Perez
Mar 26, 2006 - 9:35:00 PM

Extreme Spring Cleaning: The Socks Episode


ANNAPOLIS, MARYLAND - A few hundred Marylanders congregated on Monday for the annual Burning of the Socks ritual, to celebrate the vernal equinox, the Spring Sun, and the systematic singeing of socks.


The ceremony has been running for around 20 years, and draws a mixed crowd of sailors, boatyard workers, and bonfire enthusiasts - wealthy and working class alike. Participants throw socks and pantyhose into the blaze in homage to the hot days ahead when they can once again ditch the unnecessary 'formal wear' (i.e., socks) and walk around barefoot or at the very least, sockless.


Close to 130 people showed up to throw socks in the fire and engage in some good ol' pyromaniacal revelry while munching on oysters and sipping red, red wine.


Come by next year to check out the crab cakes, enjoy the scenery at the million dollar waterfront properties, and burn those dirty, wicked socks. Just don't forget to bring a backup pair of socks, a warm jacket, some longjohn undies, and probably some gloves...the forecast for this time of the year in Maryland is still snow and freezing temperatures.


 Do you know what's in your belly?


BUFFALO, NEW YORK - The wave of the future is coming, and it sweeps everything along with it. The stuff of movies is quickly becoming everyday life. Take medicine for instance.


Privately held SmartPill Corporation, located on the Buffalo-Niagara Medical Campus in New York, has developed a SmartPill pH.p capsule that patients will swallow to help doctors diagnose gastrointestinal problems. The pill is currently awaiting FDA approval, and it offers a replacement for current methods of diagnosis, which include the Scintigraphy (radiation-happy) and the endoscopy (invasive procedure).


The pill not much bigger than a vitamin, and works by measuring pressure and pH data as it passes through your body. The data is transmitted using low power frequencies to a USB 2.0-ready SmartPill Data Receiver that the patient wears during the process.


The little bugger has over five days of battery life, but is usually transmitted from body to toilet in about two days. Naturally (and thankfully, I might add), the pills are not reusable.


 The Escapades of the Botox Bandit


SCOTTSDALE, ARIZONA - Alas, women put themselves through all kinds of torture to achieve the perfect look. The tools of the trade include tweezers, razors, nighttime beauty regimens, even the injection of lethal neurotoxins under the skin to reduce wrinkles.


Yes, I'm talking Botox.


One woman in Scottsdale, alias "Jamie Vons," conned the local CosmediSpa into free (well, "stolen" free) treatments of Restylane, a Botox substitute. Her treatments were worth $1400.


Miss Vons came off as wealthy and well-versed in intravenous cosmetic treatments. She was even prepared with a list of the dermatologists she wanted.


After her cosmetic therapy was done, she stormed off to her car to allegedly retrieve her wallet. She left behind a purse stuffed with toilet paper, a jacket, and the photos that the staff snapped prior to the treatment.


That was the last that the CosmediSpa staff saw of her.

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