Strange Gets Into The Spirit Of The Season
Posted by M. Cherise Perez on Dec 24, 2006 - 12:00:00 AM
A Shopper's Guide to the Strange
Welcome to the wonderful, chaotic, capitalism-fueled spending spree known as the holiday season! Forget those boring gift-cards and knit sweaters and check out a brief shopping list full of strange, quirky, and just plain neat items worthy of a Strange Santa:
Clocky: Pesky alarm clock equipped with wheels that rolls away after the first snooze hit. No more sleeping in! Clocky will hide and keep beeping and beeping and beeping...
Solar Bikini: Stylish bikini covered in solar panels. Pumps enough juice to power up an iPod-sized mp3 player. Definitely NOT water-friendly.
Gourmet Oxygen: 93 percent pure oxygen in a can, offered in two delicious flavors. Replenishes oxygen-deficient muscles. Energy-drink alternative.
The Pianist Hand Concert: A clear mechanical hand that "claps-on" to play various classical music pieces. Battery-operated and a great conversation centerpiece.
USB Dog Tag: Pet tags go digital with USB capability and built-in software to store owner info, pet info, and photos.
Holiday Music with a Twist
The day after Thanksgiving, holiday music seems to saturate the airwaves on radio stations and retail stores alike. If another rendition of "Let It Snow" threatens to disrupt your inner cool, check out a few of these alternative holiday tunes for a welcome break.
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.
Moral: Don’t let granny walk home alone after too much eggnog.
Details: Staple winter song. First performed in 1979 by the Shropshire husband-wife team, and animated into a PG TV movie in 2000.
A Toolbox Christmas.
Moral: Music from a different kind of pipes.
Details: Thirteen tracks by craftsmusician Woody Phillips featuring everything from power tools, hammers, and nails, to mandolins, oboes, and dulcimers.
Crock O' Christmas.
Moral: Wizzleteats and Stinky the Fart bring a chestwig for Yaksmas. (Come again?)
Details: Cartoon critters Ren and Stimpy engage in their typical tomfoolery with this part story, all comedy Christmas album.
Christmas In The Stars: STAR WARS Christmas Album
Moral: To quote track 4: ""What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)"
Details: Have a Star Wars holiday with R2D2, the Star Wars Intergalactic Droid Choir and Chorale, and... Jon Bon Jovi.
The Guinness Book of Christmas
The holiday edition of Stories of the Strange would not be complete without a quick trip into the virtual hall of records to geek out totally useless but entertaining facts about the Yuletide season.
Coldest Inhabited Village: Siberian village of Oymyakon. Claims temperatures of nearly 100 degrees below Fahrenheit.
Largest Hotel Built From Ice: The Icehotel in Jukkasjärvi, Sweden. Rebuilt on an annual basis due to melting, the Icehotel last measured in at 54,000 square feet.
Largest Gingerbread House: Located in none other than the Mall of America in Minnesota, the cookie construction weights roughly 20,000 pounds and covers about 1,500 square feet.
Largest Snowman: Not made out of snow at all, the 47-foot concrete snowman also hails from Minnesota and never, never melts.
Information compiled from news services and wire reports.