Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.

Name

E-mail

facebook Canyon News twitter Canyon News

Canyon News

Bel Air News

Beverly Hills News

Brentwood News

Hollywood Hills News

Laurel Canyon News

Los Angeles News

Los Feliz News

Malibu News

Melrose News

Pacific Palisades News

Santa Monica News

Sherman Oaks News

Studio City News

Topanga Canyon News

West Hollywood News

Westwood News

Woodland Hills

Celebrity News

State News

National News

World Headlines

Deaf News

Entertainment

Film

Television

Music

On the Industry

Star Gazing

St. John's Confidential File

Theatrical Musings

Life & Style

Event Listings

Tech Talk

Looking Good For Lots Less

Spirit & Creativity

Miller Time

Books

View from the Hill

NY WEST

Chrystal's Recipe Corner

Career and Life Coaching

Gardening With Tony

Life According To Lenson

Real Estate Realities

Food

Sports

Marathon Running

Keeping It Bruin: A Look Into UCLA Athletics

Baseball

Basketball

Football

Hockey

Pets

Vi's Corner

Pet Tips

Point of View

John Armor

Message to America

Critic At Large... Ruta Lee

Labor Week

Ramblings

10 Degrees Cooler

McConnors corner

Edge of the west

The Physics Wizard

Auto

Kyle's Kars

Travel

Susan Michelle's Compass

Advice

Ask Deanna

Dear Lily

Ask Oona

Features

Dancing with Earthquakes

Archives

Sports Schedules

Traveling Beyond the Canyon

Edge of the West

Law Man

Ask Us

Nathan Tabor

The Angry Economist

Truth Probe

As I See It

Columnists

Truth Conquers

The Live Wire

Notes from Exile

Letters to the Editor

Dog Training by Anthony

Canyon Mews

Speak!

Sponsors

America's Most Wanted Dogs

World Recipes

Vegetarian Lifestyle

Humor

News Briefs

Local News

Books

News

Canyon Fodder

Bad Movie Night

Critical Projection

Ed's on the Town

Fitness Quests

Flashback Films

Stories of the Strange

Gourmet Grandma

He Said/She Said

Home Matters with Yvonne

L.A. Etch-a-Sketch

L.A. Ruminations

McConnor's Corner

Mommy Minute

Musically Speaking

My Back Pages

Publisher's Pages

ResourceINK

Scene and Heard in L.A.

Silly...But Wise!

Sunset Diaries

Table Options

The Paws Cause

TV Stuff

Cartoon of the Week



Bad Movie Night

Sorority House Massacre 2
Posted by Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Jul 1, 2003 - 11:12:00 PM

Sorority_House_2_Movie_1.jpg
This month we continue our quest with some magic worthy of Merlin himself. With our pockets burning from a free movie rental coupon, we went off in search of the most heralded movie yet, and could not find it. 

Not being French, we marched on and were hard pressed between Sorority House Massacre II and Jack Frost 2. Having to decide between a mutant killer snowman and breasts, breasts won out.

Sorority House Massacre, or SHM2, has set a new standard for 'Bad Movie Night' with a nearly even kill-to-full pair of exposed breasts ratio that we don't expect will be easily topped. Better yet, no more fifteen minutes of actual plotting going on, allowing even more time for death and breasts.

Adding to the charm was actually seeing the blood packet nozzles squirting on the walls after a couple deaths, giving it that nice high school film class feel.
CNphoto29_1.jpg
Photo Taken By Rachelle Sadler

We start out with five girls (their names don't even matter), moving into their new sorority house. They got it for cheap because a couple years ago some guy snapped and killed his entire family with a power drill before the creepy neighbor finished him off.

They get nice and liquored up and find an Ouija board and decide, "Hey, let's try and channel that psycho so that he can return and mangle us! Yeah!!" The Ouija starts moving, and the girls' IQ's are dropping. The Ouija flies into the fireplace and explodes.

The girls decide they should get naked and shower or dress for bed. The quality of breast ranges from fake to real fake, to niiice. The scene's now set.
CNphoto46.jpg
Photo Taken By Rachelle Sadler

Who will win between a maniacal spirit and five sorority girls in the buff? We had our favorites, but it was a toss up until the bitter end (not too much sarcasm).

Here's the deal: nine deaths, spread out with drilling, stabbing, meat hooking (a la the I Know What You Did movies), choking and good ol' American death by excessive buck shot. Eight pairs of breasts, shown throughout the latter two thirds.

Zero character development, barely any plot-- just the way we like it. Best death goes to the creepy neighbor who dies no less than three times. All that and a stripper named Satanica McVixen (we hear wedding bells) to boot.

We give this movie three kegs (four if you fast forward to about thirty minutes in) out of five. See it tonight.



 

Cliffside Malibu

-------------------------

-------------------------

 

MANHATTAN BEACH

Serving Bel Air, Benedict Canyon, Beverly Hills. Brentwood, Laurel Canyon, Los Feliz, Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Melrose, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Topanga, Canyon, Westwood & Hollywood Hills.