Barebones Script Meets a Killer Skeleton
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Jun 11, 2004 - 8:07:00 PM
Every
once in a while, a movie of a lifetime comes along, filled with drama,
love, comedy, and probing questions into the very nature and existence
of Mankind. This was not that film.
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Not Your Garden Variety Blood Gnomes
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Jun 4, 2004 - 7:24:00 PM
There's a war going on in Gnome-man's land.
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CG Dragons and Bleached Teeth
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on May 28, 2004 - 6:27:00 PM
Check out the verdict on this week's bad movie, "Dragon Fighter." It's no "Dragonheart," though.
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Chupacabras Chupa Something Worse than Cabras
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on May 21, 2004 - 7:15:00 PM
If we
ever find the scum that forced "Bloodthirst: The Legend of the
Chupacabras" on us, we'll raise the red flag, light a barrel of
gunpowder under them and merrily send them to Davey Jones' Locker.
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Yellowbeard: The Id Has Its Posterchild
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on May 14, 2004 - 7:04:00 PM
As one of the Monty Python troupe, Chapman set the tone for his film acting by playing the protagonist in every Python film. "Yellowbeard" is no exception.
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High on the High Desert: A Revelation from Orlando
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Bad Movie Night
By Relayed by Orlando W. Harris; made fit for consumption by Socrates Crenshaw on Apr 30, 2004 - 7:40:00 PM
No movie this week, but Orlando tells of his adventures in the desert.
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Limeys and Lycos
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Apr 23, 2004 - 11:40:00 PM
What do you get when you mix British commandos, British Special Forces and werewolves? That's right, no plot. "Dog Soldiers" is a perfect blend of the three. But having no plot leaves the path wide open to ceaseless killing and violence of every sort.
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Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Feb 20, 2004 - 8:40:00 AM
This movie haunted us so much we had to stay up bowling 'til 5 in the morning, stone cold sober. The lows in this film are so low they become inverse, negative highs.
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Love and Romance in the Jungle: Rambo First Blood Part II
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Feb 4, 2004 - 12:21:00 AM
This is a movie that pulled in $700 million in adjusted gross. That's "Titanic" territory, and this doesn't even have Winslet's breasts.
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Voodoo Magic, Vousdoux girls, and Cats in Heat
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Dec 1, 2003 - 11:53:00 AM
Ahh, remember the good ol' days of Crytpz? Well, flip that DVD over baby and enjoy (or not!) Ragdoll.
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The Yin and Yang of Shaolin Dolemite
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Nov 1, 2003 - 3:52:00 PM
It was the best of movies, it was the worst of movies. Just reflect on the title itself- Shaolin Dolemite- every syllable dripping with ambrosia drenched promise. Blaxploitation meets chop-socky. "Sho-nuff!" meets "Hiya!" The yin and yang of bad movies, needing only some god awful monster dripping pus and slime from Planet X or the Ninth Dimension to fulfill a most unholy triumvirate.
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Down a Few for Delta Delta Die
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Oct 1, 2003 - 9:04:00 AM
For Pete's Sake...someone please email Socrates and Orlando so they can continue their oh so meaningful lives of reviewing movies like Delta Delta Die!
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Sasquatch: Man and Beast Reconcile
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw & Orlando Harris on Sep 1, 2003 - 9:46:00 PM
Normally when a movie is bad, there is something
redeeming about it. Either there's violence, nudity, or dialogue so bad
that you can't stop laughing. But Sasquatch had none of these.
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Werewolves Galore in The Howling II
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Aug 1, 2003 - 3:19:00 PM
The Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf; no we're not kidding, that's the real title. They must have had a team of highly trained monkey writers working round the clock on this one.
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Sorority House Massacre 2
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Jul 1, 2003 - 11:12:00 PM
Wow. Don't know how Socrates and Orlando do it. They've sat through another bad movie and lived to tell about it. This time, its Sorority House Massacre 2.
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"Ginger Snaps": Not So Bad
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on Jun 1, 2003 - 4:59:00 PM
Socrates and Orlando have found Ginger Snaps to review this month. This
movie is really too good for a bad movie night. I still don't know
whether to be pleased at how good the movie is or disappointed that it
wasn't awful and cheesy.
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Bad Movies Return: "Cryptz"
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Bad Movie Night
By Socrates Crenshaw and Orlando W. Harris on May 1, 2003 - 11:05:00 AM
Cryptz
just jumped off the racks and into our hands. It seemed to have
everything: strippers, vampires, vampire strippers, struggling rappers,
mystic symbols and hocus-pocus, a little kung fu and the token mystic
spiritual warrior. We've all seen bad movies, but probably none as bad as this one.
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