BEVERLY HILLS—Dr. Charles Sophy, a regular advisor to readers of Canyon News and to television viewers worldwide on CNN’s “Larry King Live,” is also the author of “Side By Side,” which speaks on teen bullying both in cyberspace and in person. As a clinical psychiatrist for the past 20 years, Dr. Charles Sophy has treated both infamous young celebrities in Beverly Hills, as well as foster children from all walks of life in the Los Angeles County child welfare system. Dr. Sophy speaks exclusively with us about bullying, a subject that has recently gripped our nation. The deaths of teenagers who feel suicide is the only answer has affected all of us.
Q-Do you believe our nation can help solve the bullying problems currently so rampant with teenagers who are gay or different?
A-“Yes, I do. The issue of sexuality is not new. In fact, the reality that we have evolved to the point of such openness and self-acceptance about being gay may have brought many teens’ added pressures. They may not be capable of handling these truths as they more openly see themselves. Because they are different and misunderstood by their peers, they become targeted. As a nation, we can enforce more severe punishment associated with bullying patterns, and we can continue to educate that different doesn’t mean better or worse.”
Q-What can parents of kids who bully do to curb their behavior?
A-“Parents must first be very clear about how they, themselves, feel about bullying. Parents must observe and understand, see how they handle their own feelings of anger, anxiety and frustration. This is the direct way that their children will learn (or not) the necessary tools for dealing with high emotionality and the appropriate role-modeling behaviors. If you bully your children, they will bully their peers.
“Remember that often times many of the day-to-day issues [that] your children face may seem hot and volatile to them today, but that usually dissipates rather quickly. Adversely, for you, the parents, it may linger, which is where the seedlings of bullying are planted. Parents should be aware that many children have already let the pain or the power of that altercation go maybe even a few moments after they experience it. When your child has the ability to do just that, you must also do the same. If you continue with negative emotions and the struggle of power, you are planting seeds and feelings in your child (by modeling) that then get played out on the school yard, the sports field and college campuses at their own accord.”
Q-As a psychiatrist who specializes in children and families, do you believe that cyberbullying permanently affects victims?
A-“Absolutely, the effects of cyberbullying are extremely pervasive. It is a silent type of bullying and therefore its impact is deeper, darker and more deadly. It gives the victim the ability to read the insults over and over, and there is no face or emotion tied to the victim thus allowing no real connection or impact to be felt by the perpetrators.”
Q-What is the best advice you could give a young teenager or vulnerable person who feels they are being bullied?
A-“Please reach out to an adult who you trust and discuss your experiences and feelings. There is nothing that is unimportant, if it is occurring to you and generating emotions. If something doesn’t feel right then it is not, and only you can make that determination.”
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