UNITED STATES—There’s been some grumble about how I blame mothers and point my finger at them more than I do the fathers.
Maybe that’s because I am aware of the gender role reversal happening in America, creating women who acted as men did 50 years ago. Like deadbeat dads of the past, mothers can WALK AWAY and let someone else do their job.
Women have shown they are capable of raising children alone and kids can even turn out okay, if there’s a GOOD MAN around: to show what it takes to teach children how to be good men and good fathers in the future.
Over 50 years ago family shamed the son whose careless sex caused unwanted children. Sometimes the paternal grandparents would even disown the deadbeat son and take on his responsibility by helping the single mother until she found a new man to fill his shoes and father the child he will grow to love.
Now, though, families have come up with many justificatory reasons to embrace the deadbeat and his defective rationalizations. The couple fights too much, better for them to be apart. She’s a drunk… she makes him one. She is a slut, kid probably isn’t his…
(BTW, people like this sparked the creation of over-the-counter PATERNITY TESTS that don’t NEED the mother’s DNA.)
One online blogger, Cappuccino Queen, says that for every deadbeat dad, there’s an enabler. Click here for that.
This broken system is supported by Uncle Sam, welfare was created to support these poor children.
I shudder to think of HOW MANY CHILDREN have no father listed on the birth certificate, because in the ghetto that means Uncle Sam can garnish your paycheck. This in itself can spark an ‘I’ll just work under-the-table‘ rationalization in some deadbeats.
At this point, the deadbeat dads of the 21st century are quite different. Instead of running away and allowing the mother to obtain a replacement father, he sticks around. BUT HE’S STILL ABSENT.
Emotionally absent. Void of what it takes to love and teach. Living with his own parents but then ignoring the baby and merely causing grief for the mother…
The mother’s left on her own during pregnancy, he comes back at the birth. Leaves by month 6, comes back around the holidays to make sure his hook is still in her heart or to get that present. As soon as spring comes along, he’s out again.
There are half naked women and parties everywhere and playing games with friends is more fun than parenting, during the summer.
This cycle will go on and on, stopping the mother from persevering beyond single-motherhood because he’s doing more damage than he realizes: he’s creating a familial home where mothers are stressed and depressed, unable to give positive attention to the baby.
WE ALL KNOW A HAPPY MOMMY MAKES A HAPPY BABY RIGHT? WHAT ABOUT AN ANGRY ONE?
How many tactics do these deadbeats use to ensure she stays hooked?
What mother wants a 1 percent daddy figure? Do you think she REALLY remains in a dead relationship simply because she wants the real father involved?
It’s because he will call her and text her. Tug those strings. Break her spirit. Remind her of their forever bond. Guilt her into thinking she is the reason he left. Tell her no one wants a single mother with “baggage.” Show up at night when the child is sleeping…
At the same time, that this deadbeat claims his right of forever bond, he will do absolutely nothing to support the child. No interaction, no teaching, no support of any kind.
Another child that doesn’t have a relationship with his father.
Don’t take my word for it, if you are the religious type: Joel Osteen has been including lessons about this in his sermons. He talks about what the bible calls “The Blessing” and how it’s something necessary for “propelling your child toward their destiny.”
In the video below, he warns about the fathers that DO stick around but make life harder for the mothers, “DON’T take the easy way out and make the mother do everything,” he says.
In the end, I must put my alarmist personality aside and let the good-nature come out for a minute.
I would feel neglectful if I did not give the government webpage link for “Dad Stats” and tell you how the numbers are showing 2 million single fathers in America, stepping in as the mothers increasingly opt to step out.
