HOLLYWOOD—Sometimes you just have to travel, or just go into the city that they refer to as the big apple. So much to see, often known and considered a city full of life, characterized by its vibrant culture, diverse communities, and constant activity. NYC is a hub for arts, entertainment and culture, with world class museums, theaters including Broadway, live music venues and diverse experiences.
The city that never sleeps is often used to describe NYC, reflecting its 24/7 activity and the feeling that there’s always something happening. Not easy in today’s economy living in New York City, however, if you are pursuing a career in the arts, you start in New York and eventually move out west.
I would like to take a minute to write about the legendary actor Gene Hackman, who took his talents decades ago to New York City following his military discharge to learn the trade at the School of Radio Technique. He eventually switched gears and decided to pursue acting, where he roomed with fellow thespians Dustin Hoffman and Robert Duvall, George Morrison, a former instructor at the famed Lee Strasberg Theatre & Film Institute, who took Hackman under his wing and schooled him in the Method technique, teaching him to draw from personal experiences in acting.
Hackman started to get gigs in theater and on various television shows, and eventually landing the breakout role in “Bonnie & Clyde.” It was the film “The French Connection,” the catapulted him to new heights of fame and acclaim. In the role of vulgar, “Popeye” Doyle, Hackman delivered a masterclass in sheer, incredible energy. The film landed five Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Actor for Hackman. The 80s were incredible for him, his talent and drive made him one of the legendary actors of all time. The early 90s continued to make him shine, with the film “Unforgiven,” which picked up four Oscars, including the best picture prize and best supporting actor for Hackman.
The film was also recognized by the American Film Institute, as one of the 100 best American movies ever made. After he retired from the movie industry, he kept active with writing historical fiction novels. Hackman spent his golden years in Santa Fe, New Mexico, with his second wife Betsey Arakawa, who became his caregiver. The recent and tragic deaths of Hackman and his wife Betsy, and their dog are a sobering reminder that caregiving isn’t just about sacrifice, it’s about endurance. Arakawa, 65, had been the primary caregiver for her 95-year-old husband Hackman, who was suffering from advanced Alzheimer’s disease.
When she died suddenly from a rare illness, Hackman was left without the support he depended on. A week later, he passed away from heart disease. This isn’t just tragic, it’s horrifying. Caregivers know this fear intimately. The thought of collapsing under the weight of responsibility, of becoming so consumed with taking care of someone else that you forget to care for yourself, it’s quiet panic that lives just beneath the surface.
The truth is caregiving takes more than just time and effort. It takes pieces of you. The sleepness nights, the medical appointments, the constant decisions, the emotional toll of watching your loved one fade while you hold everything together, it’s relentless. Yet, caregivers push through, because love demands it. However, the harsh reality, you can’t pour from an empty cup. When caregivers burn out or break down, the fallout isn’t just personal, it’s catastrophic for the person depending on them. The Hackman-Arakawa story is a chilling example of how quickly things unravel when the caregiver falls first.
Caregivers are often running on fumes, ignoring their own pain, because stopping feels impossible. However, not stopping is where the danger lies. Arakawa gave everything she had to care for him, until there was nothing left to give. When she was gone, Hackman’s health rapidly deteriorated. This is the brutal domino effect of caregiver burnout; when the caregiver falls, the person being cared for often falls too. That’s why self-care isn’t selfish, it’s survival.
Taking care of yourself is not abandonment, it’s protection. It’s ensuring that you have the strength, clarity and the emotional reserves to keep on showing up, day after day, without losing yourself in the process. Betsy Arakawa’s devotion to Gene Hackman is heartbreaking and beautiful, but it’s also a cautionary tale. You don’t have to break to prove your love. Taking care of them means taking care of you. We are not machine, we are humans. Because caring for them means caring for you too.
Rose’s Scoop: Hackman is survived by his three children.
