UNITED STATES—Is it possible for a person to fully earn back the respect of someone who they wronged so badly that the person forgives them, but never truly forgets what has transpired? That is a question that I have found myself wondering for the past month.
I’ve always been taught in my life that forgiveness is important because it allows a person the opportunity to no longer hold a grudge and allows the wronged individual to let go of something that is halting them from reaching their fullest potential.
It’s a lot easier said than done, especially when we’re discussing in an arena where violence is involved. As much as I would like to forgive this person that has wronged me, they don’t seem to recognize the fact that he has indeed done something seriously wrong. What is more baffling are the people around this individual can’t seem to grasp that what was done was WRONG as well. You can’t just ACT as if something never happened, when you have the scar as a memory. You can’t just expect things to go back to normal as if nothing ever happened, and you can’t expect a person not to feel some sort of way, when they’ve been wronged, especially to a degree where words can’t explain how you are feeling.
What is an individual expected to do in such a situation when he or she has voiced their opinion on the matter, and it appears to be irrelevant to some or to have been swept under the rug as if nothing ever transpired. You can only do the logical thing to protect yourself and your sanity: you distance yourself. One would hope this distance would deliver a clue to the unsuspecting, but that isn’t always the case. I’ve even danced with the idea of bringing up the issue yet again to deliver a clue or two to the person to see if they truly understand why that bad blood exists.
I have always been a believer that once a person loses your trust, no matter if you forgive them; you always have that edge of caution with the individual? Why? Call it that gut reaction that just gives you that instinct that if the person wronged you the first time around, there is nothing that will stop them from doing it yet a second time, third time or so on. If you give a person an inch, they’ll take a yard. Has a lesson been learned?
Not a chance. This person still totes around as if nothing ever happened, not to mention the behavior has just gotten worse in my opinion. There is a huge disregard for authority, not to mention a level of carelessness to most of his behavior. Trust, just how precisely would you define that word? Hmm, it’s a tough one, but in my personal opinion it’s a level of undeniable confidence and reliability on a person. You never question rather they’ll do the right or wrong thing and you rely on them to look out for your best interest, as you would look out for their best interest as well.
I will never look at this person the same, I suspect he thinks that over time that will change, it’s a possibility, but at this current moment, I will not hold my breath! The fact that an apology has yet to be issued showing actual remorse, guilt and some level of growth says it all.