CAMBRIA—What is it about public speaking that can equally terrorize and invigorate? A speech is an act that combines the sacred sphere and the public sphere, particularly when it is a speech on an intimate topic. Some individuals excel at the performance of speeches, when practiced plentifully. Others are remarkably talented when it comes to the art of the impromptu speech. I am more a member of the former crowd than the latter.
Natalie, one of those dearest to my heart, called me to inform me of some wondrous news this spring: she was engaged! Natalie and Andy are the perfect pair: both charming, intelligent, rugged, happy and curious individuals, it was like a match made in heaven. The duo had met and began dating in 2007 while studying geology at the University of California Santa Barbara. The Earth Science Department is a small one, and at one point or another, all geology majors are bound to meet, whether in class or a week-long hiking trip to Death Valley or some other cool place in a ghost town, populated by abandoned mines, or full of danger every which way… yay! Natalie and Andy quickly found a shared love of camping, roughing it, appreciating rocks and discovering fascinating details about the dynamic world around us. Upon graduation, they began to work diligently for the same geologic research firm along the Central Coast. They were soon recognized for their hard work and unbreakable spirits.
The wedding was to take place in fall 2010, at a picturesque and utterly charming lodge along the Central Coast, the Cambria Pines Lodge. I was thrilled to be a part of the wedding party: I had never been in the wedding party before, and couldn’t wait to be there for Natalie. Also never having been in a wedding party before, I had the pleasure of learning about the roles, responsibilities and privileges.
As form dictates, the two major speakers at the wedding are the Best Man and the Maid of Honor. Most everyone in attendance at the wedding has something great they’d like to say about the joyous couple, but in the interest of time and festivity, the best-remembered speeches are those which keep the guests occupied for the shortest amount of time, and are short, sweet and to the point. No one likes a rambler, and no one wants to be “that person” who tries to steal the bridal couple’s thunder. (Don’t be that person, trust me.)
There is no couple quite like Natalie and Andy. The way in which they complement one another, can best be understood by observing the ways in which they strive to make life more comfortable for one another.
The wedding ceremony was perfect; it went fluidly, without a hitch, and flew by. A great feeling of joy, ecstasy, washed through the assembled crowd like a wave, and continued to wash over through the afternoon festivities. Smiles and honey-dripped sentiments abounded: every single person at the wedding was there to support this leap in the young couple’s life together, and not only support it, but celebrate it and nurture it. Nearly every guest had a camera, and all who did, eagerly snapped up every moment, drinking in the bliss of this splendid day.
Natalie was absolutely stunning in her light, lacy, Victorian-inspired strapless gown. Andy was dapper, suave and beaming. The best actors and actresses would be hard-pressed to recreate such a loving scene.
Leading up to this day, so many thoughts struck me, so many fitting words came and went, but none were permanently strung together in a cohesive speech. As it often happens, one has the words, but the script is not needed, and subsequently, not written down outside of one’s heart. That precious day, that unforgettable day, I had the surprise opportunity to deliver words to my dear friend and her wonderful life-mate.
Ay, there was the rub!
Most individuals (save those deathly afraid of public speaking) have some capacity to say a word or two in front of a crowd, unplanned, and make at least a semblance of sense. Equally thrilled and frightened at the opportunity of delivering an impromptu toast, my legs shook, as they slowly raised me up, my eyes darted between the bridal couple and the table, and my words came quickly and shyly. I may as well have blacked out for a minute, made the speech, and returned to consciousness. Light, polite clapping quickly followed, as I sat down.
What would I have said to Natalie and Andy if I had planned, if I had known? Oh, how the words do flow now.
Natalie and Andy: I wish you the greatest joy in the world. Natalie, we met seven years ago, strangers in a new land, and became friends quickly after. We brought into our hearts a collection of friends and mischief. Our first day of meeting concluded with a new circle of friends, some huge raccoons, a collection of professors who we had inquired as to “what they professed” and more than a little excitement and adventure. That day could be representative of a microcosm of Natalie’s great love of, and thirst for, adventure. Over the years, there was some intrigue, a little danger, an overwhelming amount of laughter, and memories pocketed and sealed away in your heart for a lifetime. May that laughter sustain you and Andy in all times, and may it continually breathe the lightheartedness of youth into your soul and stunning smile.
There are few couples who are so well matched to one another, both in temperament, interest, attractiveness and spirituality. The care you exhibit for one another is enough to take anyone’s breath away.
Dr. Gary Chapman theorized that there are five distinct languages of love in his book “The Five Love Languages.” These languages are the different ways by which, as individuals, we express love and appreciation, and how we best respond to others’ shows of love. These languages are “Words of Affirmation” (showing someone you love them with verbal utterances), “Quality Time” (showing love by spending your precious time with another), “Receiving Gifts” (the showing of love through a representative reminder or gift), “Acts of Service” (doing chores or things for your loved one which will lighten their load) and “Physical Touch” (this could be romantic, or a platonic hug and so forth).
Though most people respond to each of the languages to a different degree, many people believe that one or two of the ‘languages’ are dominant, and this differs from individual to individual. However, I have observed that both Natalie and Andy express their great and abiding love for one another through all of these languages. They both verbalize admiration and affection for one another, quite regularly and without embarrassment. Both are very sensitive to one another’s need to spend time together, and though both work quite hard, they always take the time to visit and spend time with one another, even if that time is brief, and shared over a meal, or even a lovely evening of reading. When they exchange gifts, both Andy and Natalie always procure something of great meaning for the other, whether it is a personally selected and handcrafted item, or an item purchased because the other partner needed, or wanted it. Natalie and Andy are extremely generous with one another and put the other’s happiness at the forefront of major decisions. In that vein, Natalie and Andy are also masters of the subtle, cheerfully doing tasks for one another, for the simple reason that it will make the other’s day easier (making dinner, packing a lunch, cleaning up, putting gas in the car). And who amongst us who has observed the gentle affection Natalie and Andy share, hasn’t just melted?
Natalie and Andy, I’d like to end this ‘speech’ by quoting Shakespeare out of context. Andy, you are, as it is spoken in the play Richard III, “A sweeter and a lovelier gentleman… Young, valiant, wise, and, no doubt, right royal, the spacious world cannot again afford.” I have no doubts that you will make a wonderful and loving husband, as you have been an exemplary companion to Natalie already! Your gentle nature, calm, sense of duty and strong work ethic will take you to great places, and you have a shining gem whose heart is now cleaved to yours.
Natalie, your inimitable character, your beauteousness, your zest for knowledge, your wonderful sense of humor, your thirst for adventure, your curiosity for the intricacies of life, and your great inner strength will no doubt continue to lead you toward greatness, as you embark on a great new life adventure with your gentle companion Andy. I know you and Andy have that unique love, that very special love which Shakespeare describes in Sonnet 116 as a love which does not alter “when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove: O no! It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering bark.”
Let the wisdom of Shakespeare inspire your loving bond, as you two “Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.”
All my love, now and always,
Susie
