LOS ANGELES—Is anything more frightening than getting older? Perhaps running out of diapers the day your twins discover raisins is worse. Unfortunately, age isn’t something we outgrow.
As we enter our 40s, most modern women forget that no matter how many salads we eat or Wii Fit games we play from the couch with a cocktail in our hands, certain body parts will break down. Yes, we are more active and enjoy better health than our mothers and grandmothers, but we still can’t outrun age and everything that comes with it.
The yearly well-woman exam with our favorite gynecologist can yield terrifying news.
(Men who happen upon this article trying to find a column about Charlie Sheen’s dating tips shouldn’t get too uncomfortable. An abnormal pap smear might happen to one of your girls, and then you should know how to help, for a change.)
Dolls, here’s how to handle that phone call saying you have atypical cells swimming around up there and need to be scheduled for a colposcopy:
Take about 10 minutes to fall apart and cry it out. Exercising, sex, hitting someone or crying (and sometimes all four at the same time) can be a great stress relief.
With all the emphasis on the relationship between certain STDs and cervical cancer, you might get the urge to call every man you’ve ever known. Don’t—count to 10 instead. Abnormal pap smears, dysplasia and cervical cancer happen to good girls and bad alike.
Intrinsically, we know eating right and exercising can only minimize, not eliminate, risk. Yet it is jarring and disheartening to face such proof in the form of potentially bad news from your doctor. Allow yourself some time and take a few days to get used to the idea that you, too, are human.
Get away from Google. Whenever you put in a search term that deals with health-related issues, the results are cancer and death. Instead of going online, save some time and skip right to the nervous breakdown.
Millions of women have to deal with this issue every day; chances are you know some of them. Ask around. You will discover an entire support system, a group of lovely ladies who will let you vent, cry, worry and vow to overcome it. Your favorite men will, as well. Their support, prayers and positive thoughts are worth more than you know.
Learn from this. A good scare helps us realize that those who are in our lives deserve the best while we can continue to give it. Focus on that. Spiritually, personally, physically—getting scared reminds us of what’s truly important.
If you’re like me, you make careful and healthy lifestyle choices. Yet, we still have to deal with this nonsense sooner or later. The urge to slurp on a margarita or five and forgo the exercise routine is tempting, but my doctor said these issues might have popped up years earlier if I didn’t take good care of myself.
Eating right, exercise and regular checkups can help postpone dire diagnoses, and they can quicken recovery time as well. So let’s not get fat and lazy anytime soon.
Keep in mind that you are a work in progress. I got my phone call a few months back and felt foggy about it for weeks. My biopsy was scheduled, and I tried to accept that life is what we make of it and the rest is simply not up to us. There will be good days and bad days.
Remember, “That which does not kill us, makes us bitter.”
