WASHINGTON—It seems to me that capitalism has gotten a bad rap lately and I want to set the record straight.

I have been called a “vulture capitalist” by some of my more opportunistic rivals. Let me tell you how capitalism and the jungle work. My pride of lions at Bain targeted the oldest, weakest and sickest members of the herd. We brought them down and stripped the bones bare. As a result, we were well fed and the herd was stronger. Once we were done, the vultures came in to clean the plates. They, too, served a function, as society’s eboueur, or as you quaintly put it, garbage men.

So, there is a world of difference between lions and vultures. The lions contribute to the good of the society at large. If you were an investor in Bain Capitol, you reaped the benefits we gleaned from the bones of the old, the weak and the sick. They’re called capital gains. You saw them in your portfolios and were able to pass them on to the top 1% of your children.

Now, God help you if you were old or weak or sick. Capitalism and the jungle have factored those groups out of the equation for the good of the society as a whole.

Now, thank you for listening and I hope we have all come out of this with a better understanding of what makes our society work. Capitalism is fundamentally good and people are also good, to the extent that they serve capitalism.

I just want you to remember that when you go out to vote.

Good night. God bless America and God bless capitalism. And good luck to the American people.

I’m Mitt Romney and I approve of capitalism.