UNITED STATES─I am really happy to say goodbye to 2019. There were an unbelievable amount of challenges I faced. Rather it was family, personal, work or school, I was tested in more ways than I ever imagined. Was it challenging? Anything in life worth fighting for always is. However, I am so looking forward to 2020 because there are things that I just want to accomplish or change in my life. For starters, the biggest accomplishment for me is that I’m earning my graduate degree. I have been working on this for the past 3 years, and how in the world I have survived with all the curveballs and chaos thrown my way, I have no idea.
School is never easy, and the higher up you move the more challenging it becomes. With that said, I’m about to open a new door of opportunities at my fingertips with education that I have obtained. I’m looking forward to it and totally ready for it. I’m a firm believer that you don’t go to school, just to go to the school. You have a reason for it and you pinpoint the steps you need to make to reach that goal that you have. May 2020, I cannot wait for it; people like my calendar is already counting down the final weeks to where my thesis is submitted and I walk across that stage to collect that degree that not only I worked super hard for, I paid a ton of money for.
Next on my list is being a bit kinder and patient with people. I truly think this is an Aquarian thing, but I hate stupid questions. It’s like when someone poses a question that they already know the answer to. I shouldn’t expect everyone to think or behave the same way that I do. I need to be more open and accommodating to the mindset of others. Take a deep breath and just tell myself things will be ok; it will help me get thru the day and dealwith difficult people.
The biggest of all aspirations I have is truly focusing all of my energy in terms of ANY down time I have after work and school to writing, and when I say writing I mean the pursuit of my film career. It was crazy just a few days ago I hate a vivid dream; so real it felt scary. How so? I had the ideas for three scripts manifest into my mindset that just seemed so visceral, so intelligent; so real it was difficult for me to put it into words.
I don’t know if this was my subconscious trying to tell me something, but I have NEVER had a dream like that. I don’t think it was just a fluke it was a sign; this is your calling and anything else that you’re doing right now is to help you to get where you want and need to be.
Cinema makes me happy, it’s my escape and it’s the one job that I will do even if I did not get paid, everything else, it means nothing to me. So 2020, I’m putting the focus on ME. My wants, my needs, my desires and not overinvesting in things that don’t bring me the level of joy that movie making does. I’ll never forget the one thing one of my professors said to me as an undergraduate. Actually she said two things: if you’re good at something make sure you get paid for it.
The second thing she said is anything that you’re passionate about you will fight for it tooth and nail, and it never ceases from your mind. The notion of filmmaking is always on my mind, it never ceases to exists, so for years I have slightly ignored it or placed it in the back of my mind, but for 2020 I’m not doing that anymore. It is my focus, it is my passion and I’m NOT letting anything interfere with it anymore.