UNITED STATES—I know I shouldn’t be complaining, but there is just so much going on. I feel like time is just not enough for me. I feel like I’m literally always doing something and I don’t have a moment to myself. Work is just beyond chaotic right now. It has been busier than ever and it seems like as soon as I get off work, I WANT TO SLEEP, but my mind is refusing to allow me to do it.

It is absolutely the worst thing possible because for some Americans there is no end in sight when it comes to work. There are some places that are open 24/7, the only time my place of employment is closed is Christmas Day. The problem is Christmas Eve is hell, and New Year’s Eve is literal hell because it is so busy that you don’t get a moment to breathe or take an actual break. There have been times in the past where I have literally gone almost seven hours or an entire eight to nine-hour shift, without a breather. Sounds crazy and unbelievable, but it has happened. I recall several years where my shift started at seven in the morning, and I was to end at four p.m. I didn’t have my lunch and two breaks until 3 p.m. Yes, I was ending my workday, taking everything in a single hour, because it was nonstop busy.

I’m not just talking about work, but you have the chaos of Christmas. You’re trying to get to the mall to purchase last-minute gifts, the crowds are relentless, and it is just busy. How can I best say this? Your patience is going to be tested. You’re going to have to wait in lines, you may not get the item or that gift that you want. Your wallet might take a bigger beating than you expected and the list goes on and on in terms of the stress that you may indeed encounter.

The biggest hiccup happened to me over the weekend because I thought I had enough gift bags and boxes to wrap gifts. I didn’t. So I went to a store looking for items, the shelves were cleaned out. They had not a single gift bag and I’m just beating myself up over NOT getting all those items when my gut told me to do it. Jeez, there is nothing more frustrating when you know you should have done something and you didn’t do it.

So that was one issue, not to mention I still have to go to the grocery store to plan the big meal for Christmas Eve/Christmas Day. Yeah, if you know one thing, this is the one time you don’t want to be a grocery store because the word busy is a sure understatement and not in the best way. Everyone wants food and rightfully so because Christmas tends to be that one day during the year that nearly everything is closed.

Well, except hospitals, the police and fire departments and casinos if you have them in your neck of the woods. However, when it comes to retailers and the banks, if you didn’t get it before 5 p.m. or 6 p.m. on Christmas Eve you’re simply out of luck because those stores do actually allow their employees to have the day off to rest and spend time with family and loved ones.

This brings me to the biggest frustration: visiting family. It feels like everyone is clamoring to spend time with you which is great. I have a big family, so there is so many people to visit, my siblings, my parents, my step-parents, nieces, nephews, extended family and I just don’t know if I will have even more time to squeeze everyone in, and I feel guilty.

I keep asking myself, why am I feeling guilty. I don’t want anyone to feel alone or bad, and it is making me try to squeeze in as much as I possible can, but I truly don’t want to do anything, but sleep in. I seriously want to rest because my body needs to rejuvenate. I’ll give you a perfect example last Friday my day started at 5 a.m. as I got ready for work. I didn’t get home till 9 p.m., then I had to do work for another job, that didn’t end till 12 midnight.

I desperately and I mean desperately want to sleep, but my body wouldn’t allow it. I watched a movie until like 4 a.m. and finally dosed off at 4:30 a.m. only to be back up and moving around at 8:30 a.m. to prepare for work yet again. I may have to tell some family members that I may not see them until post-Christmas just because I can’t squeeze everything in. I would love to, but just on a mental note my body is whacked and I have to take a moment and just have some time to myself. It might be selfish, but if you don’t take care of yourself, you’re limiting what you can give to everyone else. I love the holidays, but we all have to have a breather, even if we think we don’t.

Written By Jason Jones