UNITED STATES—There is one word in my vocabulary that I rarely use. I honestly have the slightest reasoning as to why I don’t use the word more because frankly I should. Perhaps it’s because I’m an emotional person; I like to consider others feelings. But why may you ask? It’s an Aquarian thing; we’re those who do for others without always contemplating why we’re doing it.


The word that I’m referring to is “no.” Yep, one of the words most people learn when they first begin talking. Unfortunately, I’ve become a pushover to not using the word more often when needed. People will take advantage of you if you’re not willing to stand up for yourself. In the past, I would just do all in my power to ensure others were happy. I’ve come to realize that one person’s happiness can be another person’s misery.


All words can have a negative connotation, and there are just some words that scream negativity when you hear it. ‘No’ happens to be one of those words. It requires intensity, ferocity and a stern voice when speaking it. I have come to discover me telling a person ‘no’ is not the end of the world. It shows them that I’m not willing to deal with their crap anymore, and that they can’t always come to me to get what they want. People will do whatever is possible to snooze their way out of having to do something they should be doing to begin with.

What I’m learning each day is to embrace my ability to inform someone I’m not doing something to please them anymore. If its something you simply don’t want to do, say ‘no.’ Will feelings be hurt, without a doubt, but at the same time is it fair for you to deal with the stress of another person’s problems because they refuse to do so.


Failure to inform another person of how you truly feel will allow them to psychologically use your weakness against you. There are some people out there, with such kind hearts, they just never say ‘no’ to anyone. Their goal is to please people at all costs, even if it costs them their sanity.


Each day I’ve come to realize that I regain a sense of control by utilizing the word ‘no,’ especially when it becomes apparent it’s having more of an impact on my personal life than I expected.  Sometimes you have to examine things from the outside looking in to realize just exactly what is taking place. The consequences of your actions may not always be apparent upon first glance, but it does become obvious over a period of time. How do I know all this? Well I realized, by being the personal banker in my family, I’m everyone’s go to person when they need cash. What’s the problem with that?


It impacts my psychological state of being. I’m always thinking that someone will always need or want something, which prevents me from taking action to do the things that I want to do. For years I was always putting everyone else’s well-being before my own needs; well not anymore. I’ve come to discover that my happiness is just as important as the next person. It’s scary to realize it’s taken me this long to realize that a simple two-letter word was at the root of it all: NO!